Why Can't I Hate You?
by McNugget
Summary: James is a narrow minded git who thinks purely of himself, or so Lily says. Lily is a snob who thinks she is Merlin's gift to the world, or so James says. Throw in a few others and you have a year of fun, drama, secrets and most of all MISCHIEF!
1. Cause You're Soo Damn Sexy!

**Chapter 1: Cause You're Soo Damn Sexy!**

"Do you have to make my life a living HELL?" She screamed at him, the sardonic expression on his face heated the core of her anger.

"Come on Evans, you don't _really _want me to answer that do you?" A contented smile played across his face.

"Well, what would you say if I did?!" He stood at the other end of the hall; students began to stick their heads out of the surrounding classroom doors to find out what all of the ruckus was about.

"Hmmm…" The boy with a mocking smile grabbed a chunk of his thick black hair and held onto it for affect.

"Well I guess I would say I do it because…" He took a second to think until an impish smile spread across his face.

By this time students began to pile out of the classrooms and lean on the walls to watch the argument.

"I guess it's because I think you're just _so damn sexy _whilst you're mad." The words rung around the hall like a swarm of blind bats, ricocheting off of the walls until the students all began to laugh. Subtle at first, the laughter soon became louder and louder until the flustered girl could handle it no more.

"JAMES POTTER, YOU ARE A WICKED, _WICKED _BOY!" The girl screamed over the crowd who had now begun to chant: 'Lily loves James! Lily loves James!'

"Oh, come_ on _Lily! Just admit it, you can't keep you're eyes off me!"

"WATCH ME!" Lily yelled as she turned on her heel and walked away from the laughter and wolf whistles and chants of: 'Lily loves James'.

_

* * *

_

"Nice one Prongs!" A big hand clapped James on the back as its owner joined the Gryffindor table at lunch. James choked and spat a piece of chicken onto his plate.

A tubby boy, whom the other boys called Wormtail, cringed across the table.

James laughed, "Thank you, Padfoot." He bowed modestly, nearly dipping his nose in the choked up chicken.

The pale boy with thin brown hair, who sat next to Wormtail, rolled his eyes.

"Couldn't you have waited until I was out of Potions before you decided to put any plan into action?" The one named Padfoot sulked.

"Honestly Sirius, what James did was not a very mature thing to do, Lily could have been hurt…" The thin haired boy was cut off.

"Oh Moony, you sound like my mother! _Sirius this, Sirius that! _Actually, my mother was more like _Sirius; you're a disgrace to this family! Blah, blah, blah!_" The boys laughed at Sirius' impersonation of his mother.

"Yeah Remus, loosen up! It's not that hard!" James tucked his hands behind his head and leaned back on the bench as if he was laying down, looking at the clouds. His feet held him balanced by gripping onto a wooden post on the table.

"Ok James, I'll loosen up... how's this for a start?" The one called Remus pulled James feet off of the horizontal table post sending him falling backwards off of the chair.

The boys laughed hysterically and after James gotten over the shock, he joined in too.

* * *

"That bloody git!" Lily flopped down onto her bed, shoved her face in her pillow, and screamed as loud as she could. 

The girl next to her put the parchment she was writing on, on her bedside table and rolled onto her back.

"What did he do now?" She asked, rather agitated at having to stop her letter.

Lily sat up and begun her story without any recognition to the irritation of the girl who was still holding her quill.

"I was on my way back to the common room after Muggle Studies and I hear a coat of armor rattle as I'm walking down the hall. I spin around and no one's there so I continue on. I keep walking and all of a sudden a portrait practically _jumps_ off of the wall! Well, lets just say that poor sleeping Gregory the Great was NOT happy when he was awoken to find himself on the ground and _me_ the only one in the hall." Lily let out a sigh.

"So I turn back around and walk into something hard. I fall over backwards, look up and there is the hand, that had just hit me in the head; floating in mid air, with no arm attatched!  
Ok, so I freak out a little, I stand up and touch the hand, so were palm to palm, and you know what happens?"

The girl with the jaded expression raised her eyebrows.

"The hand linked with mine, then next thing I know I'm spun around, so I'm leaning backwards in thin air, something smacks my lips and I'm being kissed!"

The girl's jaded expression is no more. She gets onto her knees on her bed and asks anxiously: "Who was it?"

"James bloody Potter!" Lily growls.

The girl lets out a sigh of relief. "Lils, the boy's teased you and pranked you since first year…"

"I know! I pushed him and fell on my ss and then I look up and Potter is standing there with a malicious grin on his face, and that bloody invisibility cloak in his hand!"

The girl who sunk back onto her backside and crossed her legs looked out the far window in wonder.

"What is it Amanda?" Lily asked desperately.

"Well, I read this muggle magazine the other day and it had an article on why boys pick on girls…"

Lily suddenly wished she hadn't asked.

"And?" She asks, the urge to find out the answer overwhelms her.

"And they say the boys do it as to get the girls attention, because they like them."

"EWWW!" Lily broke out. "This is _JAMES POTTER_ we're talking about! Gross! Those stupid Muggle magazines don't know anything!"

"Suit you're self." The Amanda girl raised her hands in retreat and went back to her letter.

Lily pulled a book from the drawer next to her and began to read.

_How could anyone thing James would like me? Ewww, as if I'd ever like James!_

Lily thought about it for a second… but only a second.


	2. Snivellus and the Bully

**Chapter 2: Snivellus and the Bully**

James, Remus and Peter all sat around the small table in their common room, cramming in as much information as they could get from their text books.

Sirius lightly ran his quill along the back of Peter's neck. Peter's sausage fingers reached up to his neck to itch the spot that the feather had toughed; his eyes not leaving his book once.

Sirius sat back, hands behind his head, board. OWLS were such a bore to him, especially the study. He was ok at all of his subjects. He didn't see the point in cramming. If he didn't know something, he wasn't going to give himself a headache learning it now, especially when the exam was in- he clanked at his watch- fifteen minuets.

Sirius picked up the quill again and ran its feathery end along James's neck. James spun around and smiled at Sirius, unlike his friend, he couldn't afford _not_ to give himself a headache last-minute-learning. Then something past Sirius caught his eye, something worth stopping for.

"-As I was saying, It was bubbling every where, and for once, I didn't know what to do, then in two seconds flat, Severus was at my side, smiling at me, and the potion was fine." Lily whispered silently as she made her way down the stairs into the common room, the pretty, blonde headed Amanda by her side.

Remus took note of the mischievous grin on James's face as he stood and blocked the portrait hole for the girls exit.

"Snivellus you're new boyfriend is he Evans?" James crossed his arms and smiled contently at Lily.

"Jealous are we Potter?" She returned with a sarcastic grin.

James let his guard down, only for a second.

"You're going with that git?" James let his arms drop to his sides and his face wrapped with suspicion.

Lily raised an eyebrow and James quickly obtained his composure, the cynical smile returning to his face.

"No, but why would it matter if I was?" Lily elevate her gaze up to James's height, taking a step forward; although instantly regretting it as James was at least two inches taller than her and it gave him the over-powering appearance.

"Then I'd have to hope you like cold dark places… like caves and sewers, because isn't that where Snivellus grew up?"

SMACK.

James's hand flew to his cheek where a bright red mark began to form.

"Don't talk about things you know nothing about James Potter…" Lily's face was neither filled with rage or hurt, if anything it was filled with disbelief, on her behalf, not his.

With that she stumbled out of the portrait hole. James turned his perplexed and bewildered expression to Amanda, who merely shrugged and followed Lily out of the common room.

"James?" Remus started.

"Lets go, we have an OWLS exam to do." James cut Remus off and they all staggered out of the portrait hole and headed towards the great hall.

* * *

(c) "Five more minutes!" 

James re-read what he had written. He yawned hugely and rumpled up his hair, making it even messier than it had been before. Then, with a glance towards Professor Flitwick, he turned in his seat and grinned at Sirius who sat four seats behind him.

Sirius gave James the thumbs up. He leaned back in his chair so that it was balancing on two legs, a girl behind him eyed him hopefully, but he didn't care to notice.

James turned back around and started sketching a snitch on a piece of spare parchment, and scribbled a few letters around it.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked professor Flitwick. "That means you too Stebbins! Please remain seated whilst I collect you're parchment! _Accio!_"

James scratched out the letters around the snitch and got up to join Sirius, Remus and Peter as they made their way out of the Great Hall.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," said Remus briskly. "_Give five signs that identify the werewolf. _Excellent question."

"Do you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in mock concern.

"Think I did," said Remus seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors, eager to get out into the sunlit grounds.  
"One; he's sitting in my chair. Two; he's wearing my clothes. Three; he's name is Remus Lupin."

Wormtail was the only one who didn't laugh.

"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think of what else -"

"How thick are you Wormtail?" said James impatiently. "You run around with a werewolf once a month -"

"Keep your voice down," implored Remus.

The boys continued to walk towards the lake, the glorious sun beating down on them.

"Well I thought it was a piece of cake," Sirius announced. "I'll be surprised if I don't get "Outstanding" on it at least."

"Me too," said James. He put his hand in his pocket and took out a struggling Golden Snitch.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Nicked it," said James casually. He started playing with the snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe.

They stopped in the shade of the beech tree by the lake and sat; making themselves comfortable.

Remus pulled out a book and began to read. Sirius stared around at the students milling over the grass, looking rather haughty and bored. James was still playing with the snitch, letting it zoom further and further away, almost escaping but always grabbed at the last moment. Peter watched with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly hard catch Peter would gasp and then applaud.

After five minutes of this Sirius looked fractiously over at James.

"Put that thing away, will you?" Sirius said finally, as James made a fine catch and Peter let out a cheer, "Before Wormtail wets himself with excitement."

Peter turned slightly pink, but James grinned.

"If it bothers you," he said, stuffing the snitch back in his pocket.

The boys sat in silence for a while. The sounds of the girls splashing about surrounded them and James looked over at them, messing up his hair as he did.

"I'm bored," said Sirius. "Wish it was a full moon."

"You might," said Remus darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here …" and he held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

Remus shrugged and hid himself behind his book again.

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly, "look who it is …"

Sirius's head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

"Excellent," he said softly, "_Snivellus._"

Severus Snape was beginning to stand and put his book away, his greasy hair hung in his face and his hooked nose hid behind it. He had been sitting under the tree; a few meters away from where Sirius, James, Remus and Peter sat. He slung his bag over his shoulder and James and Sirius stood up.

Remus and Peter remained sitting: Remus was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line appeared between his eyebrows; Peter was looking from James to Sirius to the momentarily clueless Snape with a look of avid anticipation on his face.

"All right, Snivellus?" said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted, "_Expelliarmus!_"

Snape's wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud, in the grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

"_Impedimenta!_" he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Students all around had turned to watch. Some of them got to their feet and were edging nearer. Some looked apprehensive, others entertained.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced, wands raised, James glancing over his shoulder at the girls at the water's edge as he went.

Peter was on his feet now, watching hungrily, edging around Remus to get a clearer view.

"How'd the exam go Snivelly?" James said.

"I watched him, his nose was touching the parchment!" shouted Peter desperately from behind.

"There'll be great grease marks all over it now; they won't be able to read a word." Sirius laughed callously.

Several people watching laughed; Snape was clearly unpopular and quite unsociable. Peter sniggered shrilly.

Snape was tried to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

"You - wait," he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, "you - wait!"

"Wait for what?" said Sirius coolly, "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe you're nose on us?"

Snape let out a scream of mixed swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said James coldly. "_Scourgify!_"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius looked round. James's free hand immediately jumped to his hair.

One of the girls from the lakes edge was making her way over to James, her thick, dark red hair swinging around her shoulders - it was Lily.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and the tone of his voice was suddenly pleasant, deeper, more mature.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated. She was looking at James with every sign of dislike. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said James, appearing to deliberate his point, "it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …"

Many of the surrounding students laughed, Sirius and Peter included, but Remus, still apparently intent on his book, did not, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone._"

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on … go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him the Impediment Jinx was wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch towards his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius briskly, and turned back to Snape. "OI!"

But too late; Snape had directed his wand straight at James; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of James's face, spattering his robes with blood. James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of graying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Sirius, James and Peter roared with laughter.

Lily, whose furious expression twitched for a second as though she was going to smile, said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, "_Petrificus Totalus!_" and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said James earnestly

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus -"

"I don't need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked.

"Fine," she said coolly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Apologize to Evans!" James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize," Lily shouted, rounding on James. "You're as bad as he is."

"What?" yelped James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone you can just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off of the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her. "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as though this was just a throw away question of no real importance to him.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, who looked furious now, "right -"

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" James shouted to his audience and a cheer erupted from the crowd. (c)

There was another flash of light and James was hanging upside down, his robes dangling around his head. He, however, was more fortunate to be wearing silk boxers.

"Who wants to see me take off Mr. Potter's underpants?" everyone's gaze shot out to the direction of the castle where Dumbledore stood, his wand raised, a jovial smile on his face.

This time everyone in the crowd cheered, however, neither Snape's or James's privates were revealed, Dumbledore merely placed them gently - right way up - on the ground.

"Now, now boys. You both know I can not have fighting in my school …" Dumbledore had a stern expression on his face, though his eyes twinkled as though he was remembering himself as a teenage boy.

"I would like you both to go and see you're head of houses please."

James groaned and Snape made his way over to his wand and bag.

"Not professor McGonagall, please sir, she'll decapitate me!" James pleaded.

Dumbledore chuckled, "I promise you Mr. Potter, there will be no decapitating, the decapitation of students was banned quite some time ago." Dumbledore gave a wink and James couldn't help but let loose a little smile.

"Have a good day boys." He turned and headed back into the castle.

The only one's remained were Sirius, Peter and Remus; who amazingly still remained behind his book.

"Well, I better go and see Professor McGrouch." James picked up his book bag and the others stood.

"We'll take you there," volunteered Sirius.

James looked around at his friends faces. Sirius was looking rather proud of himself and Peter's face still glowed from all of the excitement. Remus, however, avoided James's eye. He looked as though he had wanted to say something to James about the whole ordeal, but just couldn't bring himself around to doing it.

"We'll come on then," and even though James was almost certain that with every step, he was getting closer and closer to the biggest punishment of his life; having his friends with him made him feel a little better.

Now if only he could get the look of disgust on Lily's face, out of his head.


	3. Flying High

**Chapter 3: Flying High**

Lily lay on her bed and thought to herself.

Thought about all of the things she hated about James. How much she totally hated him, and everything he stood for – which only seemed to be Quidditch and girls and messing up his hair. She went over in her head all the things she hated.

She hated the way the whole school thought he walked on air, just because he could fly quickly on a broom; could catch a snitch, just because he was tall and chiseled and has a smile that warms you like the sun.

She hated his stupid jock robes and stupid jock hair style and most of all – his stupid jock best friends - and the girls who hang all over them.

They acted so arrogantly, like they owned the school, like Lily and her friends were expected to bow down and curtsy every time they swept down the hall – and the girls were even worse, simpering and giggling, desperately trying to get their attention.

She hated the way he would humiliate her in front of absolutely everyone.

Why he started, she didn't know. Why he keeps picking on her, keep asking her out, she didn't know. He didn't like her; it was all just a game to him.

She hated the way Jacquelyn and Sophia walked around, picking on girls and drooling over James and Sirius – then again, nearly every girl drooled over James and Sirius.

But Remus was ok about it. He never picked on her, nor teased her. She could have a normal conversation with him, though he was quite handsome; although he seemed to get sick an awful lot.

Lily lay for a little longer on her bed. It was Saturday morning; around eleven, she predicted, and she was still lying around, with nothing to do.

Amanda had gone to the library to finish an essay, but Lily's essays were all complete. She was board, so she decided to do something she didn't do much, she decided to go for a fly.

* * *

"I'm so bored!" Sirius groaned as he let himself drop from the arm of the big recliner. 

"Well…" the boys looked over to Remus, who had jus appeared from behind his book. "We could be studying…"

James and Sirius groaned.

"Moony, we finished our last OWLS exam, oh let me see," James rubbed his chin, "_yesterday!"_

"Ok, I'm sorry, it was just a suggestion."

James sighed.

"What do you want to do Peter?"

Peter jumped at the voice of his name.

"Well, um… chess?" He shrugged slightly.

Ever since the summer holidays the boys had been noticing that Wormtail had been acting very, very peculiar. He'd jump at the sound of his own name and seemed scared of everyone, even his fellow Marauders. Eventually the boys put it down to the fact that his parents divorced at Christmas the past year, and he was forced to stay with his aunt in Australia. The Marauders had only once met Peter's aunt; and they never wanted to have to meet her again.

"Nah; too much brainwork." Sirius sat on the floor next to where James lay.

"I know!" James jumped up.

"How bout we go for a fly? Quidditch practice is at four, and it's only eleven thirty." James and Sirius both jumped up.

"Why didn't we think of it earlier?" Sirius questioned.

James shrugged.

"Coming Moony, Wormtail?" Remus stood slowly.

"Ok, but I'm just going to sit out and read, I'm beginning to feel rather tired, there's a full moon on Monday night."

So James and Sirius raced upstairs to grab their broomsticks and were running out of the porthole before Remus could finish his paragraph.

The boys wondered down the hall when they heard a muttering noise. It sounded like a muttering of some sort. The boys rounded a corner to see Nathan Wood; seventh year and captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in which James and Sirius played on.

"Hey Nate, what's wrong?" James walked over to Nate who seemed to contemplate weather her was going right down the hall, or left.

"Amelia Bones has dropped outa Hogwarts; her dad 'as been killed by a Death Eater 'nd her mum needs her home for the funeral. She's supposedly tried to kill h'rself so Amelia has left for summer holidays early to look after 'er." James was surprised at having understood all of this. Nathan had spoken at about a million miles a second, plus the Scottish accent Wood was known for, didn't make him any easier to understand.

"Our game against Slytherin 's in TWO DAYS! And I don' have a beater! It's the final match! If we lose this Slytherin win the cup!" Remus took a step forward.

"Surely you have someone who can fill in?"

Nate rounded on Remus, "how 'm I to find someone 'nd train 'em up before Monday?"

Sirius sighed, "I dunno mate, I dunno."

* * *

Lily glided up and up, into the clouds. As she did she thought; she then realized she'd been thinking too much lately, so she just flew. 

In and out of the clouds, around the rings, around the entire field.

Lily liked to fly; she just never got time to do it.

She flew around, and then let herself drop. Down and down until she was feet from the ground. She pulled as hard as she could, and she was going up again.

Then, out of no-where, came a quaffle. Lily wrapped her legs around her broom and caught it. After spinning a few timed she floated still, upside down in the air, with the quaffle in her hands.

She flipped herself up and held it there, in her hands, looking around to see who had thrown it.

"OI EVANS! NICE CATCH!" Lily turned around on her broom to see James a few feet away from her.

"Piss off Potter!" Here was the last place Lily wanted to see James. She wasn't the best flier and she knew that he was; being "star playa" and all. She didn't like being in a position that James could gloat about.

"Settle down Evan's. Wood wants to see you; he's in the grandstand…"

Lily sped off before James could finish his sentence.

"Hey Nathan," Lily landed a few steps down from him.

"'ello Lily, that was some amazin' flyin'."

Lily blushed a little. Nathan Wood was a tall, chiseled muscular man with a muscular face and very nice features. Not many girls noticed this though, as they all paid attention to James and Sirius during games.

"Thank you, but I'm not any good, I just came out here to relieve some stress…"

"Well how 'bout ye relieve stress durin' the Gryffindor verses Slytherin game on Monday?" Lily was so surprised by this invitation that she nearly fell backwards off of the stands.

"What?" She asked in a very un-Lily manner.

"I would like yer ta join the Gryffindor Quidditch team."

"Nathan, I've never played Quidditch in my life, what if I ruin the team's chances to win?"

"Yer the only chance we got Lily Evans…" Lily stood, staring into Nathan's crystal blue eyes, trying to figure out if he was serious. "Just come to our practice at four-thirty then ye can make yer decision."

Lily tried to say thank you, but didn't trust herself to open her mouth, so she nodded, got back on her broom, and flew over the banister towards the green grass of the Quidditch field.


	4. Tabitha Snape

**Chapter 4: Tabitha Snape**

"C'mon Lily, fly hi'er!" Lily looked down at Wood, floating on his broom below her.

"Ok, Nathan!" She flew higher still. She liked to fly, but everyone was watching her! If she messed up!

Before she had a chance to think a quaffle came flying at her.

From then on, her instinct seemed to overtake. She grabbed the quaffle and sped off with it down the field. She passed it to a blonde skinny girl by the name of Chloe. It was if she'd played this game before, as if the wind was guiding her, telling her what to do.

She sped ahead of Chloe and soon found the quaffle in her hands again.

"Way ta go Lily!" Lily heard Nate's Scottish accent from below.

She raced up the field to see James, floating in front of the rings, a smirk on his face. He knew she couldn't out wit a star player like him!

She raced closer then came to an immediate stop; a metre away from James. She knew she could do this, but it would have to be convincing.

She let herself slowly fall forward, closing her eyes, making sure she had a light grip by her ankles, to her broom.

"Lily!"

_Yes!_

James sped forward and caught Lily before she could fall upside down, off her broom.

She lay in his arms for a second before she drowsily sat up on her broom.

"Are you ok Lily?" Worry spiked James's voice.

Lily smiled slowly. She sat up straight, swerved around James and put the quaffle through the middle hoop.

Lily heard cheers from below her. She looked down to see the entire Quidditch team clapping and cheering. Even Remus; who sat in the stands, smiled and nodded at her. Peter sat next to him, mouth wide open, and Sirius hovered to Lily's left, clapping and smirking.

James however, did not look happy.

"Ok team, looks like we have a new player on o'r team." Nathan had a wide smile spread on his face.

"Now c'mon! We don't have much time to train t'night…! Good work Lily," Lily smiled and a pink blush spread across her cheeks. If only she could feel the holes James was searing in the back of her head.

* * *

"Lil, that was amazing." 

Word had spread of Lily's surprising skills and by five o'clock; half of the Gryffindors had turned out to watch the Quidditch practice.

"Thanks," Lily puffed as she made her way up to the castle.

"What about that Nathan Wood? _Serious_ eye candy, I'm tellin' ya!" Amanda's phony accent made Lily laugh until tears pricked her eyes.

"Lily!" Lily and Amanda turned to see Nathan wood jogging up to them, his blonde hair glistened in the fading sunlight as he jogged up the steps towards Lily.

"Lily, yur going to have to get your self some Quidditch robes. I'll get permission from Dumbledore and you can go down and get them from Hogsmead." Lily nodded.

"We'll I'll see you tomorrow night then Evans, again- great playing t'day!"

Lily turned and Amanda began to walk with her up the final steps and into the entrance hall. The walked in silence until they were well within the castle walls. Then, all of a sudden Amanda turned to Lily.

"Oh my gosh! You TALK to Nathan Wood!" Lily knew that if Amanda didn't have so much dignity she'd be jumping up and down on the spot.

"Um… yeah, he's head of the Gryffindor team." Lily cocked an eyebrow.

"He's so sexy!!" Amanda did a little half skip/jump and started fiddling with her robes.

Lily looked at her friend skeptically and then continued to walk.

"What?" Amanda asked; excitement still very clearly in her voice.

"I just think you're making a big deal out of nothing. Sure, the guy's fit and all but…"

"But what?" Amanda injected, when Lily failed to finish what she was saying.

"I don't know!" Amanda giggled.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Ok, Little Miss Sunshine. I'm going to go down to the kitchen and get something to eat then go to bed, I'm so exhausted."

"Why don't you just come for dinner? It's only six o'clock."

Lily rubbed her eyes. "Because I don't feel like being mobbed at the moment and everyone's going to want to know how I can play so well and… I just don't want to deal with that right now."

"I'm still wondering that exact thing actually." Amanda half whispered, half grunted.

"That's another reason, I don't exactly know how I did it, so I'll meet you in the common room."

Amanda called something out to Lily as she turned around but Lily just brushed her off.

"Bye Amanda!" She called as she headed for the fruit bowl tapestry she knew would be around the corner.

She wondered up the hall and rounded the corner to see Severus Snape stepping out from behind the fruit bowl tapestry.

Lily stopped dead.

"Oh, Lily, I …" Snape stood still, the tapestry still swung open.

_I don't need help from a dirty little mudblood like her._

Lily's face hardened as she remembered Snape's words.

"Look, Lily, about Friday. I'm sorry, but I couldn't have Potter thinking I need to be defended by a girl."

"Really?" asked Lily, crossing her arms.

"Yes, he'd never let me live it down otherwise!"

"Why does he hate you so much?" Lily asked skeptically. If the reason was anything like the reason James picked on her, she wouldn't get much information.

"The whole reason? I don't know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm a Slytherin or my hair is black or my sister broke his heart, or he's just psycho."

Lily's arms dropped to her sides.

"What? What was that last one?"

"He's psycho?" Snape repeated.

"No, the other one,"

"My sister broke his heart," Snape raised his eyebrows, wondering where this was going.

"How?" Lily asked.

Snape sighed, "It's not important."

"Yes it is!" Lily blocked Snepe's exit.

Snape heaved another sigh, "It was back in the summer before second year. Back when they were just twelve.  
Potter had a crush on Tabitha, gross as it was. They met in Diagon Ally, she was getting ice-cream and when she turned around she tripped over and everyone laughed as the ice-cream went all over her. Somehow Potter got the heart to help her up and they became friends.  
They spent practically the whole summer together. Then, I don't know how, they came across me reading in the park. Potter put a jinx on me that made me river dance until I had tears in my eyes. Back then it was just little prank's he'd pull on me, just for attention i suppose.  
So I managed to get my wand and I broke his arm. He was in quite a bit of pain, but Tabitha came and helped me, un-jinxing me. Then she told James he was a cruel heartless boy and she never wanted to see him again, and she left him there, crying…"

Lily's jaw hung slightly open.

"He tried to get her to talk to him again, but she refused. And he didn't see her after that. I guess he always believed that i told her not to talk to him, or that i purposly showed up in the park, or whatever... but now he's a git to me. End of story."

Lily sighed, she was so tired.

"Why haven't I met her? Why doesn't she go to Hogwarts?"

Snape looked at Lily with sadness, she was sure he had tears in his eyes.

He looked away and made to pass her.

"Severus, you can tell me."

Snape sighed, "She drowned. She was ice skating on the lake in the acres behind our backyard. I was supposed to be watching her, but dad had just gotten home and I wanted to show him a new potion I'd made that turned your hair purple. When I got back to the lake, I saw that she'd skated onto a thin patch, and it had caved in. I called Dad, and pulled her out of the water, but by then, she was… she was…" Snape sniffed a tear.

"Severus," Lily took a step towards him but he swerved her and got past.

"She was dead. Now will you just leave me alone? Now you know!" Snape ran off, down the hall and around the corner.

Lily grabbed at her stomach. Suddenly, she wasn't so hungry anymore.


	5. Quidditch Kisses

**Chapter 5: Quidditch Kisses**

As Lily swayed down the hall on Sunday morning; her scarf wrapped tightly around her neck and her broomstick in her hand, she thought of Tabitha. Tabitha Snape, sister of Severus Snape and James Potter's very first crush. She thought about how horrible it must have been to leave you're sister; skating happily on a frozen lake, for one second, and come back to find her floating in the freezing water, dead.

Lily thought about that very subject until she got out into the clear sky. There were only a few clouds in the sky, but they were in the horizon, where the sun was slowly rising.

"Lily!" Lily looked over to the grandstand where Nathan sat.

She straddled her broom and flew up to him.

"Hey Nate," she smiled.

"Ready ta train Lily?" Again, Lily smiled.

Lily spent three hours flying around the Quidditch field with Nathan Wood.

All-in-all it was a fairly good training session. At one stage she even scored a muchly _unexpected_ goal. She'd swung, upside down, on her broom to catch the quaffle and; as she'd been swinging herself up again, she'd lost grip on it and it glided right through the right hoop.

She hadn't seen a bigger grin on Nathan's face… ever.

"Nice training Lily!" Nate cheered enthusiastically as they both touched the ground.

As Lily's feet hit the ground she suddenly felt as if the whole world had been placed on her shoulders and her legs turned to jello.

"Lily, are ya alright?" Nate asked as Lily swayed on the spot.

"You're very pale," Nate reached out his hands and placed them on Lily's upper arms.

Some would say it was the 'straw that broke the donkey's back' because Lily's knees buckled and Nate pulled her towards him before she hit the ground.

"Lily! Lily, talk ta me. What's a matter?"

Lily groaned.

"I just feel a bit light headed."

"Have you eaten anything today?"

Lily shook her head.

"What about last night?"

Again, Lily shook her head.

"I've been so busy with Quidditch that I haven't had all that much time.

Lily then realized how uncomfortable her situation was. She was being held in the arms of Nathan Wood, in the middle of the Quidditch field.

She began to pull away and he was reluctant to let go.

When she was standing up straight Nate touched her face.

"The colors' starting to come back now," Nate quoted and Lily only then realized how cute his accent was.

Lily couldn't help enjoy the warmth of his hand on her cold, wind bitten cheeks.

Then she imagined kissing him, just leaning in and doing it, and before she knew it, weather she'd leaned in or he did, they were kissing.

The cold wind bit all around them and the trees of the forest swayed lightly, but there was something quite un-beautiful, just beyond their view; James potter's prying eyes. James Potter's _angry _spying eyes.

* * *

James stood at the entrance to the Quidditch field. He watched Nathan Wood take Lily into his arms, and then he watched her kiss him. It felt like James was having acupuncture, but the needles were being pushed in too deep, pricking at his insides, at his heart and stomach and throat. Making him bleed, making him crumble in pain. 

He stood there watching them until he could no longer see. He wrenched the tears out of his eyes with his fists. His stomach felt as though it was being smacked with a beater bat and twisted in impossible directions.

He mounted his broom and flew up on top of the castle. He knew it was out of bounds to be on the roof but he wanted to be up there, and at that very moment, he didn't care what Remus the smart one said, didn't care what Sirius the trouble maker or peter the suck up thought of him; Dumbledore the wise one or Snape the grease ball.

He only cared about Lily. What she thought, what she said, her expressions and her actions. At that very moment it was all he cared about.

He landed on the stone of the top of the castle. It was colder up there, windier, icier. He walked around the roof, to one side, was the view of Hogsmeade, to the other there were the trees of the forbidden forest, and beyond them there were glorious blue mountains.

Then her turned again, there was the quidditch pitch, empty, except for Lily and Nathan. He could only just see Lily; she was heading back to the castle, Nate, sitting on the grandstand.

He mounted his broom and began to fly down. As he got closer to the ground he began to care again; care about his friends and despise his enemies, respect the wise and soak up the attention of the girls and ignore just about everything else.

As for Lily… he would go back to being the arrogant git he always was. The cool "it" boy who everyone thought just liked the attention of asking her out.

Sure, it was a mask, but it wasn't a mask that he'd hide behind and then cry about it latter. It was a mask that fitted him perfectly hiding his real emotions and replacing them for ones he could control. A mask with padding and its own spotlight, a mask that everyone saw and either loved or hated.

Yes, he had lived under this mask his entire life… almost. He had lived without it once, but that only brought him pain. Wearing his mask protected him from pain, hurt, and anguish. With his mask, nothing hurt him, nothing. And that's exactly how he liked it!

* * *


	6. Early Morning Conversation

**Chapter 6: Early Morning Conversation**

Lily woke early on Monday morning. She got dressed and made her way downstairs. Though it was Monday the staff had decided to call a meeting at nine o'clock so, to the students utter most pleasure, Monday morning classes were canceled until after lunch.

Lily let herself flop into one of the armchairs in the common room. The room was lit only by the embers in the fire and the sun was yet to rise so there was no light through the windows. Lily looked around and suddenly caught the eyes of James Potter.

She sucked in a sharp breath and wondered why he was staring daggers at her. He was sitting in the arm chair to Lily's right, and his legs were draped over the side of the armrest in an easy-going fashion.

She regained her composure and looked away. When she thought it was safe she looked back at him, but he was still staring at her. She stared back at him and wondered why his eyes were filled with hate. Had some-one just said something to him that offended his over-sized ego? Or was he looking at her that way.

He went on, un-blinking, staring at her. Lily tried not to blink but it brought tears to her eyes. Eventually she turned away and rubbed out the tears.

"What is you're problem?!" She demanded.

James got to his feet, his expression not changing. Lily had never seen him like this before, and it was scaring her.

"What?" She asked as he moved nearer to where she was sitting.

"Why did you join the Quidditch team Evans?" James spat, he had begun to walk circles around Lily's armchair and she moved vigorously, to keep her eyes on him as she sat.

"Because I was asked to, why?" Lily was beginning to feel like a caged animal and only looked at James when he crossed the front of her armchair. She gave him a look of ice cold loathing, in which he returned.

"Are you sure about that?" James stopped in front of Lily, if she hadn't have been so totally and utterly pissed of at him, his height would have been towering.

"Yes I'm sure! You've been watching too many old cop shows!" Lily saw James's face twitch and she could tell he was about to ask what a 'cop' was, but refrained. It wouldn't have fit his 'bad-cop' persona he had going.

"I think you're lying, Lily," James put his hands on both armrests and leaned towards Lily. "I think you only agreed because you fancy Nathan Wood."

At this Lily laughed in James's face.

"What are you going _on_ about?" Lily pushed James by the shoulders and stood up from the chair. "You're crazy!"

"I am not crazy!" James boomed, this time causing Lily to step back, falling back into the chair.

James made a start on her.

"I saw you, on the Quidditch field, kissing Nathan Wood! Don't lie to me!" James put his hands back on the armrests of Lily's chair, trapping her again. "Just tell me the truth, why did you join the team, because you're not _that_ good, I don't want you ruining the team's chances." At this point James was whispering, but it was an icy-cold whisper that nearly made her shiver out loud.

"Will you deflate your ego for just _one second?_ I joined because the team wanted me to join, if it wasn't for me you'd have no chance for today's match, just admit it, the team needs me. _You _need me."

James leaned closer to Lily.

"I don't know if _anything_ you just said was true, but I know one thing was. You're right, _I_ need you." James crushed his lips down on Lily's and for a second… she considered kissing him back. But instead she wriggled to get free.

"JAMES!" She half screamed.

"Lily, you said it yourself, I need you." He crushed his Lips back on Lily's but this time, it didn't last for long. Lily aimed a kick to James's groin and wriggled her way off of the chair as James bent double.

She got off of the floor and straightened her clothing.

"What's with you?" Lily screamed at James. She looked around to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter, Amanda and a few others, standing at the top of the stairs, watching the scene.

James stood up, he looked hurt, then he saw that he and Lily had an audience and his face formed a smirk.

"You know you want it Lily Evans, you've wanted me for a long time." He directed a devilish smile towards the stairs. Peter practically jumped with glee and Sirius gave him a smirk. Remus, however, turned around and went back to his dorm.

Lily screamed at James. "How many kicks to the groin will it take for you to understand that I have no interest, what so ever, in _getting with YOU!?_" James seemed to cringe a little, behind his plastic smirk.

"Oh come-ON Lily! You want me."

Lily walked closer to James, her face in a distraught twist of anger, humiliation and disbelief.

"James Potter, you are an arrogant git, but on the contrary; I think I owe it to myself, and everyone else, to show you _just_ how much I like you." Lily made her way closer to James, she smiled with satisfaction as his smirk quivered and his legs twitched inwards.

She got closer and closer to him until they were so close that, if they hadn't of been breathing out of sync with each other, their bodies would have touched.

She tilted her head a little to the right. Just as Lily expected, James tilted his head to the right. She leaned in and he closed his eyes.

Then Lily, in a swift movement of the hand, slapped James across the face, causing his head to fly to the left and his hand to immediately snap to his cheek.

Lily heard gasps from the top of the stairs and then heard Amanda's high pitched voice yell: "Oh snap!" then it was quickly followed by a: "what? He was being a jerk," which seemed to be directed to the crowd so obviously staring at her.

Lily looked at James as he cursed under his breath.

"I don't think it's me you have to worry about, ruining the match; I think it is so obviously yourself that you need to watch." And with that Lily summoned her broomstick and made her way out of the porthole, James's incredulous expression hidden from the others as he watched her leave.


	7. Slytherin vs Gryffindor

**Chapter 7: Slitherin Vs Gryffindor**

Lily flew around and around the Quidditch pitch. Amanda had agreed to toss a quaffle for her to catch but it didn't seem to be her main objective at nine o'clock on a Monday morning.

"OMG! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KICKED JAMES POTTER IN THE GOOLIES?!" Squealed Amanda.

"Amanda, please just throw the quaffle," Lily rolled her eyes and flew down closer to Amanda.

"I can't believe it! You're going to be _major_ hot gossip!"

Again, Lily rolled her eyes.

"Think about it Lily if you…"

"AMANDA!" Amanda stopped dead and her expression turned some-what somber and taken-back.

"Look Amanda, the Quidditch match is an hour before lunch, which gives me less than three hours to finish training, please understand… I really don't want to fall on my ass." Amanda was still looking at Lily with disappointment, as if she had had no right to cut her off.

Lily didn't want to make Amanda mad, and she felt a little mean for cutting her off, so she added a little more to her desperation speech.

"And besides, if I'm hot gossip, I better play good, or James will have something to gloat about."

Amanda's face lifted and just as Lily was afraid Amanda would launch into another hypo session, she'd thrown the quaffle and Lily was forced to pull a tight turn to chase after it.

* * *

"Mate, what happened?" James sat in an armchair, his face morose. 

"I was asking her why she joined the Quidditch match, that's all."

"Why do you care why she joined?" Sirius sat on the floor, staring up at James.

"Because I saw her kissing Nathan Wood on the Quidditch field yesterday, I wanted to know if she only joined because she fancies him."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but then closed it again.

Remus re-appeared from behind his book, "well why kiss her?" he asked, incredulously. There was something in Remus's voice that told James he wanted the truth. No answer of 'because I was pranking her,' would do.

"Because I… because…" James let out a growl and jumped from his seat.

"I don't need an interrogation!" James picked up his broom from the floor and stormed out the porthole.

"What's James mad at?" Peter wheezed.

"I don't know Wormtail, I thought him fancying her was kind of a joke, like him liking Snape's sister! That was a crackup! Especially when he sent her a howler telling her he couldn't be friends anymore because her brother was a grease ball!" Sirius and Peter snorted with laughter.

Remus, on the other hand, rolled his eyes behind his book. He knew that James had sent no such thing to Tabitha Snape; he knew that they had been friends; he also knew what James didn't. He knew that Tabitha had died five years ago; he just didn't see the point in opening up old scars. As much as James tried to tell himself he never _really_ liked Tabitha, Remus knew otherwise. But sometimes the narrow minds of his friends amazed him.

"Have either of you tried considering the concept that maybe James is in love with Lily?" Remus put his book in his lap and looked up at the boys stunned faces. The reaction they gave was not what he was expecting. He was expecting them to tell him he was right, or even tell him he was wrong. Even if they stayed silent Remus wouldn't have been as shocked as he was when they both burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"C'mon Moony, seriously! James, in love… he doesn't know what love is!"

"Yeah, doesn't have a clue!" Peter agreed with Sirius as they continued to laugh.

The laughter subsided when both boys realized that Remus was still staring at them seriously.

"Ok Remus, lets say James did know what love was, what about the pranks then? The humiliation, the crude and cruel comments? All signs of affection I suppose?"

Remus nodded.

"Yes actually, James does not know how to talk to a girl, and the easiest way to get someone's attention is to pick on them."

"James knows how to talk to girls, he talks to them all the time."

"Yeah, I see him!" Peter agreed, again, with Sirius.

"Yes, but he does not fancy any of these girls the way he does Lily, I've noticed it for quite some time, since about second year."

"Second year?! That's ridiculous! He's been out with other girls since them! And anyway, if he liked her he wouldn't pick on her! He's been doing it for years, he's smarter than that! He knows she'd never date him because of what he does to her!"

"Yes, Sirius, I know. He's done it for too long and every time he tries to act normal, she tells him to bugger off, so he humiliates her, he doesn't know what else to do, he doesn't want to be hurt again."

At this Peter's rat like face lit up.

"What do you mean 'hurt again'?"

Remus sighed, "I can't tell you, if James found out…"

"Remus, I think that you're side needs any strengths it can get, you're losing this debate." Sirius pointed out.

Remus took a deep sigh.

"Tabitha Snape didn't receive a howler from James."

Peter looked dumbfounded, "I don't understand."

"James and Tabitha were at a park and James made the mistake of picking on Severus, not that he knew he was Tabitha's brother. Then Severus broke James's arm and Tabitha left him crying on the ground, to help her brother. Then they just left him there."

Sirius and Peter looked at each other, not sure what to say.

"So know you know. James gets sensitive because he likes Lily, but she so clearly does _not_ return his affection. I guess kissing her this morning was his way of trying to tell her he liked her for real, but James is an "it" boy. The second he saw he had a crowd he couldn't help himself but to show off, so Lily thought it was all a joke."

Sirius and Peter sat silently; they had no idea what to say to that.

* * *

"Alright team! Ye ready?" Nathan Wood looked around at his team as they sat in the change rooms. He noticed to abnormalities about his team. One was Lily seemed to be avoiding his gaze and the other was that James Potter seemed to be gazing daggers at him. 

"Evans, Potter, are ye both al'rite?" James blinked and Lily looked at him.

"Yes," they both said in unison.

"Ok, let's get out there!"

The team rose and grabbed there broomsticks, making their way onto the field.

Many and many of James and Sirius's enemies stood on the Quidditch field. Even a few girls Lily had had disagreements with here playing.

Thoughts rushed through each player's head.

_We HAVE to beat these guys! _Sirius thought as he mounted his broom.

_I have to show Lily that Nathan Wood is no where near as good as me!_ James thought as he rose higher in the air.

_Please Merlin, don't let me mess up!_ Lily sped off towards the other end of the field as the whistle was blown.

"And there off!" came the commentary.

"First possession is a Slytherin, then another, and another, oh! Blocked by Jenkins, a Gryffindor's player, passed on to our newest addition Lily Evans, and she's off! Down towards the hoops and… LOOK OUT! Oh, just ducked that bludger, unfortunately, dropped the quaffle, Slytherin's MacArabee has possession now."

Lily straightened herself up, that was close; she nearly had her head wiped off.

"Possession now to Black, now Potter. Ah! Tremendous duck. He's off towards the hoops. He's going for the shot! HE GOT IT! THAT'S A GOAL FOR GRYFINDOR!"

James spun around to smirk at Lily but she just looked away.

James caught a bludger heading in his direction, just what he needed. He looked down the field to see Nathan, just bellow him. He grabbed the club from a team member next to him and swung it as hard as he could.

"Watch out!" screamed Melinda Macabre, the beater who James had stolen the bat from.

Nathan saw the bludger and ducked. Before James had time to react he saw the bludger pass where Nathan had been floating mid air and collide with Lily's head, knocking her out and off her broom.

He leaned forward and caught Lily as she was inches from the ground.

"Lily, LILY!" He shouted at her, but try as he might, she wouldn't wake up.

_Oh Merlin! What have I done? _He thought as teachers ran from the side lines, students ran from the stands and players flew down from high up in the field.


	8. Mr Protector

**Chapter 8: Mr. Protector**

"Lily! Oh, Lily, I'm sorry! Please wake up?!" Lily's eyes began to quiver open.

"Nate?" she asked, her voice hushed.

"No! It's me, James." James tried not to sound hurt by Lily's mistake of identities.

"James? Who is James?" Lily moved her hand to the back of her head.

"James, you know, James Potter." Lily cringed as she touched the back of her head, pulling her hand away.

"Oh, Potter. I remember now. I have something I want to say to you. Something I'm not supposed to tell you, but I'm a little disorientated right now, so why not?" James looked down at Lily, but he strained to hear her hushed voice over the quickly scuttling feet of the crowd.

"Yes Lily?"

"I… I… My head hurts…" and with that Lily's body fell limp against James's arm.

"Lily! Oh Merlin! Lily wake-up." James landed on the ground, still holding Lily in his arms.

"Potter! James Potter! Give her to me; she must be taken to the hospital wing." James swung around to see Professor Mcgonagall pushing through the crowd of Quidditch players, who all happened to have their eyes on him.

Professor Mcgonagall took Lily out of James's arms.

"Thank you Mr. Potter." Then Professor Mcgonagall raised her wand to her throat.

"All students!" The crowd stopped shuffling around and fell silent.

"This game has been suspended until further notice!" and with that she shuffled off towards the castle.

James stood on the spot, watching Professor Mcgonagall levitate Lily up the steps and into the castle.

The crowds began to make their way and soon the only ones left on the Quidditch field were the players of the Gryffindor team, Remus and Peter.

"What was that all about?" Melinda Macabre stepped in front of James. Her face as hard as a rock and her arms crossed.

"What do you mean?" James tried to keep the apprehension out of his voice.

"I saw you swing that bludger at Lily, are you still mad because she got that goal at training?"

James laughed.

"What are you going on about? Why would I want to hurt a member of my own team? I was aiming for the Slytherin next to her."

Melinda shook her head slowly, "I don't believe you…"

James's face turned livid. "I don't care whether you believe me or not, I would not purposely hurt Li… a member of my own team – now get out of my way." James pushed past Melinda and made his way to the change rooms.

He could hear footsteps behind him as he treaded heavily across the grass. But he did not turn back, nor did he slow down. He just continued to the change rooms; one hand occupied by his broom, the other covered in blood from the back of Lily's head.

* * *

Black …

Blue …

Green …

White … A lot of white.

She wondered why was there so much white.

Now it was yellow.

Bright yellow; beaming through the shade.

Slowly– very slowly- she opened her eyes.

"Lily! Oh my gosh, Lily! You're ok!"

Screaming, loud, ghastly, shrill screaming filled her ears.

"Oww!" She let out a sharp scream, worse to her ears than that of the blonde girl in front of her; Amanda.

"Miss Remmings, please be quiet!" Madam Raminda hissed.

"Sorry!" Amanda whispered back.

"Oh my gosh! You're awake, I'm so glad you're awake!" Amanda's voice was at a whisper but she still managed to jump up and down on the spot.

"What happened?"

Amanda's happy expression fell from her face.

"Don't you remember?" She whispered, kneeling down at the bedside.

"I remember being hit in the head with something and then everything went black…"

Amanda sighed. "Oh, yeah, you got hit by a bludger. Its ok, I thought you had some weird memory break down thingy." She laughed.

"Well, I better get to class. I have History of Magic and if I don't get there before Professor Binns he's gonna chuck a fruity at me!"

Lily laughed lightly as Amanda leaned down to hug her.

"Be a good girl now." She yelled in a hushed voice as she left the hospital wing.

Lily laughed and shut her eyes.

"Hello."

It felt like she had only shut her eyes for two seconds when she heard a voice in her left ear. Lily opened her eyes to see Nathan Wood standing over her bed.

"Oh, um… hey." Lily sat up slightly.

"I just wanted to see if you were ok."

Lily smiled, "yeah, I'm fine, just a bit of a bump on the head, that's all."

Nate stood in silence, looking down at his feet; he looked some how ashamed of himself.

"What's wrong Nathan?" Lily placed her hand on top of Nate's.

He pulled his hand away, slapping a look of misunderstanding on Lily's face.

"I'm sorry Lily. You're really nice, and pretty, and smart, but I can't… um… do this…"

Lilly looked dumbfounded. "Do what?"

Nathan sighed, "I'm sorry I kissed you, it was a mistake. I didn't think. I… my life is too complicated Lily, I can't drag you into it." Nate looked as though he was about to die in shame. "I know you don't understand, but just trust me. It's not you, it's me." The look on Nate's face was one of pure embarrassment of what he'd just said. "I didn't mean it like that, it's just… everybody has secrets. I have mine, and I'm sure you have yours." Nathan leaned down and kissed Lily on the forehead, then he turned around and walked away, leaving Lily wondering what the bloody hell had just happened.

* * *

Amanda ran all the way from the Hospital Wing to the History of Magic class room. As she unintentionally threw open the door, trying to think of a good enough excuse for the old guy, she saw that there was no Professor Binns in the classroom. Students were standing on their desks and throwing flaming Guzics at each other and playing Exploding Snap but there was no Professor Binns.

"What's going on?" Lily asked Melinda, who sat in a corner reading a book.

"The class has decided to go bloody spastic, just because Professor Binns is ten minutes late."

Amanda smiled a thank you and took a seat at what seemed like the only desk that didn't have flaming balls of fire, books, exploding cards or a student on it. She pulled a book out of her bag and began to read.

_He held her tight in his arms; he never wanted to let her go. He loved her too much. He would never let her go again; she was too precious to him. After everything they had been… _NO!

Sirius snatched to book out of Amanda's hands.

"Give me my book." She snarled at Sirius

"Woof woof!" Sirius barked back.

"Bite me!" Amanda spat.

"Don't tempt me." Sirius smirked, running his tounge over his teeth. He threw the book to James who looked at the cover and snorted.

"_Don't Leave Me Darling._ What kind of Muggle crap is this?" James cocked and eyebrow, tossing the book back to Sirius.

"Well, seeing as I'm half Muggle…" Amanda was cut off when Sirius stood on his table and shouted to the class.

"Listen up! I think it's Story Time!" He cleared his throat as loud as he could.

"Ok, where do I start- ah here we go- _he loved her too much. He would never let her go again; she was too precious to him. After everything they had been through.  
He kissed her passionately, oh so passionately. He felt her melt in his arms; felt her kiss back. They were no longer two. They were one." _

The class sat on their desks and chairs and snorted at the story.

"_His hands made their way up the back of her shirt, slowly, slowly. Her fingers were entangled in his hair_.  
'_I love you,' she whispered to him.  
He trailed kisses down her neck.  
'I… love… you… too…' He whispered between kisses." _

The class's sniggers became louder as James made kissing faces to the book.

"_He pulled her shirt over her head and made for her bra strap." _

"STOP!" Amanda jumped up and pushed Sirius off of the table, grabbing her book as she went.

Sirius fell to the floor with a rather sickening crash.

Amanda shoved her book in her bag and headed for the door when she was yanked by the feet, upside-down. She held her robes to her knees.

"Put me the hell down Sirius Black!" Amanda shouted as her book bag fell to the ground.

"I don't think I will." Sirius avowed smugly.

"Put me DOWN!" Amanda screamed.

The class laughed as she tried to wriggle out of the grip of the spell.

"No. You shouldn't have pushed me- now, what to do with you?"

The class shouted there two cents but one voice rose over them.

"I think you should just put her down." Sirius and James looked to the pale figure that stood at the door, his clothes worn and dirty looking, his eyes bloodshot and his skin some what transparent.

"We were just having fun." Sirius whined, placing Amanda back on her feet. She scooped up her books and began shoving them in her bag.

"I have sat by and watched you gits pick on every student that has the guts to stand up to you. But all I ask is you leave me out of it. Pulling a prank and humiliating my sister is _not_ leaving me out of it." Even though his voice was calm and rather weak Sirius and James seemed to recoil at his voice.

"Were sorry Moony, we were just having fun, just harmless fun…"

Remus raised a hand. "I don't want to hear it. I just came to tell you that I'm not feeling too great and that I'll see you both tonight, although now, I'm not so sure I want to see either of you." Remus shook his head and turned around, leaving the class in a stunned silence.


	9. Roses are Red

**Chapter 9: Roses are Red… and Blue and Purple and White**

"Listen Moony, were really sorry about your sister mate. We were just having fun, it wasn't a personal attack or anything, Professor Binns didn't show up so we were board and when we saw the romance crap she was reading, we couldn't resist." Sirius sat up straight in the armchair.

Remus curled up on the bed and rested his hear on his paws.

James made his way over to the window and looked out at the moon. It seemed much bigger than usual.

"Look, I don't want to argue about it ok?" Remus felt something creep over his tail and flicked it, sending a giant grey ball across the room. It hit a tapestry and then the floor.

"Oh, sorry Peter, I thought you were a bug or something." Apologized Remus.

"He's close enough, ey prongs?"

James turned his massive stag head.

"What?" He asked; looking down his fur covered face at his friends.

He had not been listening. He had just been watching the moon, grunts and growls sat at the back of his mind; he hadn't noticed they were talking to him.

"What's the matter James?" Peter asked, scattering up onto the windowsill.

"Nothing." James turned away from the moon and walked across the room, setting himself down on the rug.

Peter and Sirius looked at each other and shrugged. Well, they shrugged as well as a rat and a giant dog could shrug. Sirius looked over to Remus who gave him a knowing look. He knew what was wrong with James, and if Sirius put all other possibilities aside, he knew too.

"You should tell her." Sirius barked genuinely.

"What are you talking about?" James mumbled, not bothering to turn to face Sirius.

"I don't mean tell her arrogantly, I mean tell her, and mean it. it's about time you did, you've avoided it for long enough." To this Sirius was expecting to be told he didn't know what he was talking about, or even if James had of gotten up and told him that he needed to get looked at because his 'dog instincts' were all wrong. But James did none of these things. He just lay there and mumbled: "I cant."

Sirius jumped off of the armchair and made his way over to the stag on the floor.

"Why not?"

"Because she hates me."

"Well if you tease a girl for five years that usually happens," Remus cut in.

"Well what can I do?" James lifted his head to look around.

"You just need to show her that other side of you." Remus injected.

"What side?"

"Um… I dunno, the side with a heart, maybe?" Peter's shrill squeaky laughter followed Sirius's remark.

"And how the hell am I supposed to do that without being trampled on and humiliated?" James asked petulantly.

"Well sometimes with love, there's a little trampling involved." Everyone looked at Sirius for this _wise_ remark.

"What?" he shrugged, "My mum used to trample me and now I appreciate the love Charles and Susan smuggle me with."

James smiled at Sirius's first-hand advice, and compliment to his parents.

"Well, it's worth a try Prongs. You'll never know if she really does think you're a foul selfish wart-headed jerk until you've told her how you feel and _then_ she calls you a foul selfish wart-headed jerk." Sirius's genuine phase was over.

"Thanks Padfoot thanks."

* * *

"Hey Lily!" Amanda shouted up the stairs at the top of her lungs. 

She threw open the door to see lily sitting on her bed, finishing the last of her History of Magic work that she'd missed the day before.

"Lily! Oh my gosh Lily!" Amanda flopped down on top of the parchment on Lily's bed.

"What is it Amanda? I have to finish this before end of lunch."

Amanda sat up and grabbed Lily's hand, pulling her to her feet.

"You're gonna want to see this!" Amanda dragged lily out of the dorm room and down the stairs then out of the portrait hole.

"Amanda! Slow down! You are going to rip my arm off!"

But Amanda would not stop; she dragged Lily down two flights of stairs and was half way down a corridor before she spoke again.

"Melinda Macabre is having a baby!"

Lily stopped dead.

"What? Are you crazy?"

Lily thought about the fat girl with glasses who played on the Gryffindor team. She couldn't be pregnant. She was rather tubby but not enough to be pregnant.

"No! Come-on! She went into labor ten minutes ago, she's in the girl's bathroom, and they can't move her!" Amanda grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her down the corridor, down another flight of stairs until they finally got to the door of the third floor bathroom. All around the door was packed and Professor McGonagall was pushing students out of the door, back into the corridor.

"Just go back to your dorms! All of you! Just go!" Poor Professor McGonagall looked rather flustered.

Amanda stunned Lily by raising the hand that wasn't holing onto her and shouting to Professor McGonagall, "I've got her!"

"What are you doing?" Lily hissed.

Professor McGonagall ushered the girls into the bathroom.

Lily just about fainted at the sight of Melinda Macabre lying on the floor with Madam Raminda down by her feet and a big pink round shaped _thing_ covered in blood, coming out of her you-know-what!

"I've got Lily Evan's for you Melinda," Professor McGonagall kind of _shoved_ Lily over to Melinda.

"Wow, I mean, um, hey Melinda."

Melinda, however, was in no mood for small chat.

"Get Nathan Wood for me!" She hissed. Her face was nearly as pink as the thing coming from her pubic region. Her head was wet with sweat and she let out a shrill scream as she heaved a push.

"I, um, don't know where…"

Melinda cut her off, she grabbed hold of the front of lily's robes.

"Student's have been looking for ten minutes and he seems to have disappeared! Every time someone needs Wood _you_ can finds him, now go and get him, or help me Merlin I'll-"

"Ok! Ok, I'll get him!" Melinda let go of Lily's robes and ran out of the bathroom. Lily took a second to remember what floor she was on and then set off for the fifth floor.

Lily had once found Nathan Wood sitting in an un-finished tunnel behind a tapestry of a suit of amour reading a book. Then she had been told to go and fetch him for professor McGonagall and for some reason, went straight to that same spot, only to find him there. He'd told her it was his 'breathing spot'. Just a place he could go to get away from everything.

Lily ran up the corridor and eventually made it to the tapestry.

She pulled it back and what she saw nearly knocked her off of her feet.

Nathan Wood and a slightly-familiar blonde headed Ravenclaw boyfull-throttle _snogging!_

"Ah!" Lily clamped her hands over her mouth and turned around, giving both boys time to put their shirts back on.

"Lily?" Nate got out of the passage first.

"What the…?" Lily spun around to face Nathan just as the other boy shut the portrait.

"I'll see you later Nate," and the boy took off at a jog, down the corridor.

"It's your day isn't it?" Lily asked surprised.

"I really like him Lily, that's why I apologized for kissing you and-"

Lily cut him off.

"Not our kiss you git! Melinda Macabre is in the girls' room in the third floor having a _baby_- although I'm not quite sure that's what it is yet- and you're behind a tapestry snogging a boy! You said you had secrets but sheesh, I didn't think that you meant _big_ secrets."

Nathan grabbed hold of Lily's shoulders and gave her a little shake. "Where is Melinda?" he asked as if he was asking a retarded six year old.

Lily grabbed hold of Nathan's wrist and made the long, tiring journey back to the girls' toilets.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?!" Melinda hissed at Nate. Lily could see nearly the baby's entire head.

"I was… um… reading."

Melinda grabbed hold of Nathan's hand and squeezed it as she pushed.

"Ow," Nate groaned. "Can you loosen your grip a little?"

"How about you have a go at pushing this thing out and I'll squeeze your hand then!" Melinda hissed.

"I'll take that as a no." Nate sighed. "C'mon Melinda, I saw the head, you're nearly there."

* * *

Finally, after an hour, it was over. Melinda sat up on the bathroom floor with a baby boy wrapped in blankets, in her arms.

Lily had intended on leaving ages ago but just couldn't pull herself away. Childbirth was the strangest thing she'd ever witnessed.

"What should we call him?" Nate asked, looking over at the baby.

"I don't know, what do you think Lily?" Lily was too entranced by the whole fanada that this question came like a smack on the head.

"Huh? Oh… um… I don't know?"

"C'mon Lily, think of something." Melinda insisted.

"Well… Hmmm. Nathan and Melinda, ummm, Oliver?"

Nathan and Melinda looked at each other, then the sleeping baby, then back at each other.

"What do you think?" Nate asked.

"I like it, you" Melinda replied.

"I like it to."

"Oliver it is then!" They both said in unison.

"Maybe add in Malachi, after Melinda's father and Naporé; after mine?" Nathan looked at Melinda.

"Oliver Malachi Naporé Wood. Oliver Wood. Yes, I like it." Melinda looked down at the baby and began making faces at him and asking him if he liked his name, even though he was asleep.

Lily took this as her cue to leave. Just as she reached the door she heard a voice.

"Thank you Lily. Thank you for everything."

Lily nodded at Nathan and left the bathroom.

"You can go in now." She told Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore; who both stood at the door.

"Miss. Evans. Good work today. You are excussed from the remainder of your last lesson. You've done quite enough work for today." Dumbledore added with a smile. then both of the teachers nodded at her and she headed back to her dorm.

It was only until she was half way there that she realized just how tired she was. It had been such a long day; such a long year actually. There was only four days until the end of the year but Lily wished she didn't have to go home.

She didn't want to spend here time being teased by her snobby sister Petunia. Petunia would invite her snobby friends around to their house and tell them what a _freak_ Lily was.

When she was younger Petunia used to tease her so badly. She used to pick on her and make sure that the second she made a friend that they weren't friends for long.

Ever since before Hogwarts Petunia knew there was something weird about her sister, and every summer she came home from school Petunia would make more and more of an effort to make her feel like a bug beneath her foot.

Lily finally got to her dorm. It was three in the afternoon so no-one was in the dorms but Lily noticed something was out of place.

On her bed lay a bouquet of red roses. Lily picked them up and they changed colour.

Blue.

Purple.

Yellow.

White.

and red.

She read the card:

_Dear Lily,  
I hope you like these.  
I contemplated getting lilies,  
but it seemed kinda corny._

Well, hope you like them!

Lily turned the card over but it wasn't signed.

She pulled out her wand and conjured up a vase of water. She put the flowers on her bedside table and got out her History of Magic. She worked on it for a mere five minutes then she put her head on her arms and fell asleep, her work still in front of her.

**Alright, here goes. **

**Please, please, please, please REVIEW! **

**I got ONE review for my last chapter! **

**I don't think I'll update till I get enought reviews. **

**Round 3-5 will do! **

**So REVIEW PLEASE! **

**Your contribution DOES make a difference!**

**S. xx**


	10. Miss American Barbie

**Chapter 10: American Barbie**

The news of baby Oliver Wood traveled around the school and every conversation at dinner consisted of Melinda and Nathan's 'Sin Child'. As Lily sat down at the Gryffindor table she frowned at the things she heard.

"I heard they were drunk and then slept together!"

"Well I heard from a little birdie that they dated for like a week and then Nathan forced her into it."

"No, no. I was told by someone quite close to the situation that Melinda was being a little tart and then Nathan, being a guy, took her up on her offer."

Lily was surprised to hear a fourth, more familiar voice, add to this conversation.

"Will you Chirping Charlie's just shut your mouths? You don't know anything!"

The owner of this voice took a seat next to Lily and she, Lily, realized that it was Amanda.

"Chirping Charlie's?" Lily asked.

"What? I couldn't think of anything else!" Amanda shoved nearly a whole piece of bread into her mouth, she sounded rather troubled.

"What's wrong Amanda?" Lily took hold of the remaining bread Amanda was about to shove into her mouth and placed it on her plate.

"Nothing's wrong, what makes you think anything's wrong?" Lily shook her head slowly, would Amanda never learn?

"Because when you're upset, or nervous, or mad, you put things into your mouth. You're like a teething baby. Whatever you can find, you'll chew. Food, a spoon, a straw, your _nails,_" Lily lifted Amanda's hand to show short stubby nail-beds.

"So?" Amanda grumbled.

"So, nothing. I have no problem; I was just proving that I know that something's wrong… so spill."

Amanda frowned, "I wish you weren't so bloody smart, it really ticks me off!"

"And if you can't find something to chew on, you insult the nearest person, that usually being _me._" Lily smiled.

"Shut up Lily!" Amanda picked up the remaining bread and shoved it in her mouth, but it obviously was too much as she began to choke.

"Amanda?" Lily asked. "Are you ok?"

Amanda continued to cough and splutter; she then began to turn blue in the face.

Lily stood up; she would have to jump over the table to get to Amanda. However, before she got the chance Sirius was behind Amanda. He pounded her on the back and she spat soggy half-chewed bread, onto Lily's plate.

"Ewe, I'm full!" Lily pushed the plate away from her.

Amanda took a few deep breaths and the three laughed for a second at Lily's comment.

"Are you ok now?" Sirius asked Amanda.

"Yes thank you. I…" Amanda turned around but when she realized it was Sirius Black standing behind her the smile dropped from her face.

"…I could have handled it by myself." Amanda finished, rather complacently.

Sirius just laughed, "Sure you could have."

He smiled dubiously but his eyes gleamed with mischievousness, and then he turned away and headed back to where he had originally been sitting.

"What was that?" Lily asked. "The guy just saved you from choking to death and all you could say was: 'I could have handled it myself!'?" Lily impersonated Amanda as if she was a caveman, her voice deep and slow-in-the-head sounding.

"What?" Amanda asked, sounding as though Lily had just said something in Swedish.

"Why be so mean?" Lily asked, a little slower.

"He's a jerk."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well that _jerk_ just saved your life."

"Whatever," Amanda grumbled. She grabbed the last remaining piece of bread and was about to shove it into her mouth but Lily grabbed it and tore it into six tiny pieces, then shoved one of the pieces into Amanda's mouth.

Both girls laughed until they began to attract the attention of others.

"So, what's wrong?"

Amanda sighed and picked up a piece of the bread.

"It's the whole Oliver Wood thing. I really liked Nathan and I thought I had a chance with him, but now that he's got a kid I don't think he'll want me." Amanda waved the piece of bread around, getting a dirty look from a girl with long braded hair, who sat next to her.

"Don't worry, some how I don't think he's you're type."

But Amanda wasn't listening; she could see the girl with the blonde braid looking at her menacingly. "What's your problem?" she snapped; firing up again.

"You wanna watch where you wave that thing?" The girl asked, referring to the bread, flipping her braid over her shoulder.

"I'll wave it where I like!" Amanda smacked the girl in the cheek with the bread.

"Oh no you di'nt!" the girl shouted.

"Go back to America Barbie!" replied Amanda callously.

"Amanda! - Sorry, she's having a bad day." Lily apologized.

"I can see that, try and keep your dog on her leash next time will ya?" The girl retorted, turning back to her friends.

"I'll show you dog on a leash!" Amanda got up and pulled the girl's braid until she was forced to step out of her seat. "What's the problem bitch, you of all people should know it's a dog eat dog world!" Amanda's reply to this was a sharp slap in the side of the face.

"What kind of a plastic slap was that?" Amanda asked, letting go of the girl's braid and punching her square in the nose. This stopped the girl. She fell to her knees, clutching her nose as it poured with blood.

"I'd watch my Prada covered feet if I were yo-" Amanda never got to finish her last word.

"Amanda Remmings, Candice Prone, get here now!" Professor McGonagall stormed down from her table. "Both of you to my office, NOW! - get up Miss. Prone! - Both of you; move… NOW!" The girls marched out of the hall.

Lily was satisfied to hear that Oliver Wood was no longer the main conversation piece, and she took a piece of the bread from Amanda's plate, dipped it in her pumpkin soup and shoved it into her mouth.

* * *

"Did you see the fight between Remmings and that Prone girl?" Sirius asked Remus as him and James entered the common room.

"Yes, I did see it. I don't know where Manda gets her violence from. Must be her mother, I won't deny she's the pant's in the family. Although I don't know her dad so it could be him too." Remus muttered behind his book.

"I wasn't there but I heard it was a real cat fight." Peter snorted like an asthmatic cat with a fur ball caught in its throat.

"It was more like a dog fight actually." The boys turned to see Lily sitting in an armchair, only lit by the light of the fire, doing her homework.

Remus saw James straighten up and his hand automatically jumped to his hair.

He opened his mouth to speak but Sirius jabbed him in the side and gave him a look that said 'don't do anything stupid'.

"Did you see it?" James asked, trying not to let the egotistic-ness into his voice like it usually did when he was talking to Lily.

"Yeah, I did actually. I was sitting across from her when she picked a fight with the American girl in Slytherin. She was sitting with a few of her Gryffindor friends, not that I'm saying the American girl didn't egg her on."

"Whadaya mean?" Peter wheezed.

"Well Amanda was a bit angry about… stuff and she was waving her bread around, she nearly hit the American girl in the face and when the American told her off she actually hit her with it. When Amanda failed to apologize the American called her a dog so Amanda got up and - pulling her by the braid - dragged the American with her. She slapped Amanda so Amanda punched her in the nose, end of story." Lily didn't take her eyes off of her parchment and text book the whole time.

"Oh yeah!" James and Sirius hi-fived each other.

"Moony, your sister rocks!" James patted Remus on the back.

"Well you would may say that, but I'm not so sure myself-"

Lily cut Remus off. "Who's Moony?" Lily asked.

"Oh, um, just a nickname for Remus." James looked kind of nervous.

Lily snorted. "Why Moony?"

All four boys looked at each other and grinned.

"No reason." Sirius shrugged.

"Ookaay." There was a few minutes silence when the portrait hole swung open and Amanda stormed in muttering things like: "Stupid McGonagall" and "I am gunna do more than break that stupid Barbie's nose!"

"That's my cue!" Lily gathered her books and ran up the stairs after Amanda.

"Hallelujah!" Sirius threw his arms up as if he was thanking the heavens.

"What?" James asked, although he couldn't seem to get the stupid grin off of his face.

"Oh c'mon James! You just had a general un-bigheaded REAL conversation with Lily Evans, long time crush and short time nice-to-you girl!" James laughed, Sirius looked as though he was going to jump up and dance around.

"Yeah James, congratulations." Remus smiled shaking his head.

* * *

**So, did you like it? **

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**S. xx**


	11. What Are You Afraid Of?

_Ok, I have a problem! I most likely won't be able to update BOTH of my stories daily. HEAK, I most __**defiantly**__ won't be able to! I spend an hour and a half between when I wake up and when I step through the school gates. I spend seven hours in class (as a whole) and 45 minutes at lunch (in which I write). I get home round 4:15 (depending on whether I ride the bus or my bike. I then do my homework (2 hours usually). If I don't do my homework Mum usually has one of her bratty Day Care kids asleep in the computer room. That usually makes it 6:30. Then I have diner at 6:45ish and clear the table by 7:30ish. Then from seven-thirty till nine-thirty I write. Sometimes I watch a TV show so that gives me an hour and a half. I have spent practically ALL day on the computer this past three days. And I was updating two stories a day._

_I'm not saying that you won't get an update for a week! No, I'm just saying it may be two days instead of one. _

_DEPENDS ON HOW MY REVIEWS ARE LOOKING!_

_I'm trying my hardest, I really am, please bare with me!_

_S.xx _

**Chapter 11: What Are You Afraid Of?**

"This sucks _soo_ bad!" Amanda flopped down on her bed as Lily sat, reading a book on hers.

"I'm guessing you had fun doing detention?"

Amanda had received an hour and a half detention with Filtch for the next three days as a result of her 'fight' with the Slytherin who very much resembled a porcelain doll; too bad the girl was a troll.

"Fun? _HA_, now that's a laugh! You know what I had to do? I had to scrub Moaning Myrtle's bathroom from top to bottom! I swear that bathroom hasn't been cleaned since the retched girl _died!_ Argh, she got me so worked up! If she wasn't already dead I would have killed her! She was all 'Ohm, I'm dead, poor me, no-one visits me anymore, I'm so lonely, boo hoo!' She went on for an hour until I finally told her to shut it and you know what she did? She dived into her cubical, spilling water _all over the floor I'd spent forever scrubbing!_"

Lily laughed and shook her head.

"Oh! Oh, oh, oh! I forgot. We'd been talking about Nate Wood. What did you say before I bitch slapped that Barbie?"

Lily laughed softly, "I said I don't think he's your type."

Amanda cocked an eyebrow, "Lily I don't think you understand. We've been doing this 'friends' thing for five years now. You should know that you never say 'I don't think he's your type.' Even if that's what you really feel."

Lily shook her head, closing her book.

"No, I _really_ don't think he's your type, unless you really belong across the common room." A sanguine smile lingered on Lily's lips.

"Across the common room? What, the boy's dorm_ohmygosh! _Nathan Wood is_ gay_?" Amanda jumped off of her bad and ran over to Lily's.

"Shh!" Lily hushed, laughing as soft as she could with hilarity.

"He's gay?" Amanda mouthed.

Lily nodded.

"But, Melinda?"

Lily shook her head, "They had sex whilst he thought he was straight, but he told me he went back to his dorm, laid in bed thinking the whole day, and then realized that the reason he hadn't liked the sex and the reason he likes looking at the boys in his dorm was because he's _g-a-y._"

"Oh gosh! Thank Merlin!" Lily cocked an eyebrow apprehensively.

"Oh, I thought I'd lost it, but it looks like I still _got it_!" This had been even funnier than Amanda's reaction. Both girls knew that they did not _have it_, they were going on sixteen soon and neither of them had so much as been kissed - or so Amanda thought.

"So how do you know this?" Amanda asked, gasping for air.

"He told me; after dinner earlier on. You know, when you were scrubbing loos in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

"Why did he tell you?" Amanda asked, suspicious of the relationship between her best friend and ex-crush.

"Oh, I um… don't know really. Maybe he was just explaining, seeing as I caught him behind a tapestry snogging a guy whilst his child was being born." There was no way Lily was about to tell Amanda that not only was she no longer a kissing virgin, but her first kiss had been with none other than her present crush.

"Oh…" was all Amanda had to say.

"I'm going to take a walk ok, stretch my legs; I've been reading for too long, want to come with?" Amanda smiled and shook her head as she grabbed her towel and pajamas and disappeared into the bathroom.

Lily got up and put her book away, she then pulled on her slippers and headed downstairs.

* * *

James came out of the bathroom which he had been hogging the past two hours; a superior grin on his face and a piece of parchment in his hands.

"I've finished it boys!" He announced to his room mates, who also happened to be Remus, Sirius and peter the same Remus, Sirius and peter he had been causing mischief with since first year.

"Yes!" Sirius jumped off of his bed and grabbed the folded parchment from James.

"How are we opening it?" He asked when the parchment remained blank three seconds after he'd held it.

James grabbed the parchment back, "Like this." He tapped the parchment with his wand and muttered. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

"Brilliant." Sirius beamed as ink splurges formed on the paper and begun to form words.

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders Map." Peter wheezed.

"Does it work?" Remus asked, not looking up from his book.

"Well there's only one way to find out." James surveyed the map. He blinked with wonder when he saw two footprints, belonging to the name Lily Evans, lingering still, on the third floor. He looked at his watch, it was nine o'clock. What was Lily doing out at nine o'clock by herself.

"I'll tell you what," James told the others. "See Evan's footprints there, on the third floor? I'll go and see her and convince her to come back to the dorm. If I get back and she hasn't moved, or if my footprints don't show up accurately, we'll know there's still a few glitches." James tapped the map, "Mischief managed," and handed the map to Sirius.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Sirius tapped the map with his wand and the ink re-appeared, slowly forming a maze filled with footprints that were clearly labeled by the name of its occupants.

James grinned at his friends and left the dorm room.

As James dwelled at the bottom of the third floor stairs he heard a strange sound. It sounded like crying, but not the long, exaggerated sobs of Moaning Myrtle. These were softer and more muffled. James made his way further up the corridor when he saw something he thought he'd never see.

The bloody, battered body of Amanda lay on the ground surrounded by pieces of a fallen suit of amour; Lily knelt behind it, sobbing rather frantically.

James took a step forward but then he remembered; he'd passed Amanda in the common room. She had a towel and was retrieving a book from the coffee table before she told him goodnight and headed back upstairs to the girls dorm.

"Lily." James made his way around Amanda and hugged Lily close to him.

"I… I was walking and I b- bumped into the suit of amour and It fell over and… and… Some one killed Amanda James; they shoved her body in a suit of armor!" Lily sobbed hysterically, her cries echoed throughout the hall, only slightly muffled by the fact that her face was in James's shirt.

James looked back at Amanda's body, but this time it was not Amanda's annihilated, massacred body that lay on the ground before him, it was Lily's. James bit his tongue so hard he began to taste blood in his mouth.

He looked away. He had not been entirely sure what had been going on when he saw the fake slaughtered body of Amanda, but now that it was Lily he knew what was going on.

The thing impersonating Lily in front of him was a Bogart.

"Ri… Ridiculous!" James flicked his wand towards the Bogart and it was no longer a mutilated body, it was Filtch dressed as a clown, with fuzzy blue hair and a red nose.

James laughed. Lily, having heard this, looked and saw Filtch, dressed in anything but grey and brown, and burst into laughter.

A few seconds later there was a small _pop_ and the Bogart was no more.

James helped Lily to her feet.

"Ale you alright?" He asked her.

She looked away from him and rubbed the tears from her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm alright now."

James and Lily picked up the pieces of armor and placed them in a pile. They then made their way back to the common room, hand in hand.

* * *

**Soo, waht do you think? **

**I won't update till i get enough reviews. I'm cracking it up to 6!**

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**S. xx**


	12. Princess No More

**Chapter 12: No-Longer a Princess**

"AMANDA!"

Lily ran over to Amanda who sat on her bed, brushing her hair.

She squeezed her friend as tight as she could.

"Hey, what's the deal?" Amanda wheezed, gasping for air.

"I thought you were dead. Your body was all bloody and cut up and you were dead and cold and… and then James came and it was a Bo- Boggart but then James got rid of it an- and you're here!" Lily hugged Amanda as hard as she could and tears fell down her face. "I love you Amanda! When everyone else thought I was this know-it-all you were my friend!"

Amanda pulled Lily away by the shoulders.

"Lily, you're not just a know-it-all. You're a snobby, annoyingly beautiful, smart, know-it-all… but you're also my best friend." Lily smiled and hugged Amanda.

"Oh, I have something to tell you…" Lily smiled at Amanda, the pink blush returning to her cheeks.

Lily told Amanda all about the Boggart and James coming to her rescue. Amanda paid full attention to every word.

Lily soaked her best friend in and as the night wore on they both fell asleep when they were two tired to form words.

* * *

James awoke with a wide smile on his face.

Today… would be a B-E-A-UTIFUL day.

"I am TOO brilliant!" he said quietly as he remembered placing the Boggart in the suit of armour the day before.

He, of course, hadn't known Lily would stumble across it, and frankly didn't even remember he had set it up until it transformed into Lily's slaughtered body. But never the less it had turned out great.

He had grabbed Lily's hand and she had not pulled away.

SHE HAD NOT PULLED AWAY!!

James pulled back his covers and began to dance around the room, thrusting his body in all different of directions as though under the Cruciatus Curse. A wide smile spread across his face and he felt as though he could fly as he danced crazily, swinging his arms this way and that.

"Oh yeah, oh yeah!" He whispered, as not to wake the other boys.

A few more seconds of dancing and a voice drifted to his ears.

"What in Merlin's name are you doing?" James froze; one arm in the air, one punched out in front of him, his legs twisted and his body seemingly back-to-front.

James slowly stood to see Sirius standing in the door of the bathroom. He hadn't even noticed his bed empty.

"She lii- ikes me!" James ran over to Sirius and grabbed the towel from his head.

"She L-I-K-E-S me!" He rubbed the towel through Sirius's messy hair, as if he was drying the hair of a child.

"She held me haa-and!" James continued to dry Sirius's hair as he sung and bounced away from Sirius's swatting hand.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"I'm expressing joy! You should try it some time!" James bounced and danced and sung, his voice slowly climbing the volume scale.

Soon enough Peter and Remus were both awake.

"What's happened to him?!" Peter scurried over to Remus. "Is he under the Imperious Curse?"

"No," Remus shook his head and smiled. "He's just expressing his happiness."

* * *

Lily wondered down the hall, she'd just finished breakfast and Amanda had a detention to attend to.

She wondered what James was doing. The two had been making "googly eyes" as Amanda called it, all through breakfast but neither made a move.

Amanda made her way towards the Gryffindor tower when someone stepped out from behind a corner, causing her to jump buck.

"Geez Severus, you scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry," there was no remorse in Severus's voice, only blind hatred.

"What is it?"

Lily remembered back to when Severus and she were best friends. It seemed like so long ago. She tried to forgive him for calling her a mudblood, but the truth was she could never forgive him for that.

"I havn't seen you around lately Lily."

"Oh, I've been… um, busy." At that moment Lily hated more than ever the fact that she could not lie believably.

"Busy ey? Doing what? Batting your eyelashes at Potter?" Lily tried to stop it, she tried so hard but the bubbly feeling was too much. A smile broke out and a blush rose in her cheeks.

"I always thought he was a pompous prick Sev, but he isn't. He's sweet! He saved me from a Boggart and held my hand and smiled at me and he even kissed me on the cheek as I went up to my dorm!" Lily was nearly bouncing on her feet but Severus seemed even more pale than usual, if possible. He looked as though he was going to be sick.

"Wh- what?" He swallowed what felt like a pumpkin, suddenly feeling dizzy.

"He's cute and sweet and his smile is so amazingly adorable!" Lily seemed lost in her own little fairy world as Severus swayed on his feet, feeling as though the entire castle had crushed on top of him. His heart was lassoed and pulled violently out of his chest as he saw the love in Lily's eyes… this love that she would never feel towards him.

"Lily, pl- please re-con- consider! He's not who you think he i- is! He's cruel and tormenting and utterly r- wrong for you!" Severus thrust his hands into his hair, pulling at the tangle between his fingers.

"Why? What makes you think you know what's best for me? I think I'm beginning to like him and if I decide to pursue this feeling then it is my choice… why does it affect you."

"Because… because he is a git who torments people for fun!"

"But so are you, the things you and your dark art friends do make me sick to the stomach at times."

"Yes but… but… you just can't! Just stay away from him!"

"WHY?!" Lily's voice echoed around the corridor.

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" Lily's mouth was open to shout back but the moment the words sunk into every pore in her body her mouth snapped shut.

"I love you Lily, I always have, from the moment I discovered you were a witch I've loved you, since we were nine and ten and I will still love you even when we're old and furrowed. You've always been beautiful to me Lily, and you always will be. I love you, so I'm begging you; re-consider what you're deciding to do."

Lily looked into the pleading eyes of the boy she thought she'd known so well. In all his faults they had stayed friends. He had helped her understand, helped her through all of the years of not knowing what she was, all those years of wondering why Petunia hated her. All those years… It should not have come as such a surprise that he loved her. Infact; when they were younger they spoke of a gloriously magical wedding and a wonderfully enchanted house. It had been coming for a long time, and yet, she was un-prepared. And yet his words affected every trail of thought and forced her to think about what was in front of her. To love Severus Snape would be a child fairy tail come true. She would be the princess she'd always wanted to be. And Severus would be her prince. But now she was not the princess in the tower. She was the villain who wreaked havoc; she was no longer the beauty in the fairy tail, but the troll who caused pain. She did not feel like the princess who had been rescued by her prince. She felt like a total and utter monster… for not feeling the same. She did not love the one who so nobly loved her, and now she must break his heart.

"I- I…" She could not say it, how could she, to see the heart brake right in front of her, to see the pain on his face, the pain that she would have so visibly caused. So she did all she could think to do.

She ran…

* * *

**Well, well, well... Sorry i took like FOREVER to update! Well, you know the rules! No update till i get atleast 4 reviews!**

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**S. xx**


	13. Kisses

**Chapter 13: Kisses**

Lily packed her bags in silence that night. She had told Nathan that she could not play in the finishing of the Quidditch game. However, Gryffindor won and were elected the house cup. Lily should have been ecstatic, but she was not.

She could not stop thinking about what Severus had said to her.

He had told her that he loved her…

She had always expected this to happen and was ashamed at not having felt the same way. She had always imagined that she would have an unconditional love for her best friend, but when it never came she thought that maybe it would be one of those things that once he came out and told her how he felt she would fall head over heels for him, but that did not happen either.

She felt so ashamed and was rather glad for the end of year. Sure, she would miss Hogwarts, but she just couldn't handle to think of Severus.

"Lily, are you feeling better?" James wandered casually into the dorm and Lily stood from where she squatted in front of her trunk.

"James, this is the girls' dorm." James threw his head back and breathed in deeply.

"Say that again."

"This is the _girls'_ dorm."

"No, no, the beginning…"

"What… James?" He let out a sound that resembled one hot metal made when it hit water.

"It sounds so good!" He threw up his hands as if conducting an orchestra.

Lily shook her head and covered her mouth; she didn't want to show him that he made her all giddy inside.

"Is that a _smile_ Lily Evans; a smile for _me?_"

Lily shook her head but did not remove her hand. Behind it was a grin so wide it used all of the muscles in her face.

"I think it _is!_" James pulled Lily's hand away but her other hand shot over her smile.

James pulled at the other hand but Lily moved backwards.

"C'mon Lily, show me, I want to see." He sounded like a little kid with a toy.

Lily felt the bed behind her but continued to grip her face.

James tugged at hand and when he released she fell backwards onto her bed.

James crawled on top of her and pinned her hands above her head.

She tried to loosen and release her smile but she could not.

"Ahhh, I see it!"

Lily slowly released her smile. She looked up into James hazel eyes.

"Lily Evans… I don't know what to say to you."

Lily pulled a hand out of James' loose grip.

She rested it in the crook at the back of his neck and pulled him down into a kiss.

They lingered there, kissing.

James' whole body felt of jelly. He wanted to stay, on his hands and knees, kissing Lily, but he could hold his body weight no longer.

He collapsed on top of her and she broke into uncontrollable laughter.

He knew she knew, but it entertained her so he rolled off of her and faced her.

"You have beautiful eyes."

She blushed, she tried not to, but she did it anyway, mainly because she could not help it.

"James, your in the girls' dorm."

James nodded.

"You'll get in trouble."

James shrugged again.

"I'm used to it."

Lily smiled as James kissed her.

She did not know how many girls he had kissed before but he was so good at it. He was gentle when she wanted him to be gentle and harder when she felt like being consumed and taken over. But he was always passionate. She wondered how long he had liked her.

As she smiled into the kiss they broke off. A black haired boy with sharp features lay beside her.

"Wha?" She blinked and James was back; lying next to her.

"What was the glazed over look for?"

Lily smiled slightly. "Nothing, I'm just tired."

She sat up and shook her head.

What had just happened?

"Lil, are you ok?"

She couldn't see James like this; so caring, when she had just imagined it had been Severus she had been kissing.

"Yeah, look I'm going to take a shower now, I'll see you at dinner."

The all-so-common grin played across James's face.

"I could join you…"

Lily scoffed. "I am offended James Charles Potter! Now get out!"

Lily began to push him out of the door but he stuck his head back in the door and snuck in a kiss before Lily shut the door.

She leaned against the back of the door.

Why couldn't things just be easy?

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! My computer won't save anything so I can only write in my half-an-hour brake at school!**

**Please stick with me and review!**

**I love you all so much!**

**S. xx**


	14. Some Things Just Aren't Fair

_**Chapter 14: **Some Things Just Aren't Fair_

Why had this happened? He had always loved her! Always! Why was it that the one who teased her and made fun of her got her? There was no logic in that! She was his! He waited until she was ready. Waited for her to feel the same! Why did it never happen?

Why?

Severus sat in the top tangles of the branches.

It was so unfair. He was supposed to be with Lily. Ever since they were little they were supposed to be together. How could she _possibly _choose Potter?

Severus sat, in the top branches of the tree, looking out at the lake. He stayed tangled in his own sorrowful and misery-filled thoughts until he heard voices making their way towards the tree. He didn't find out whom the voices belonged to until the four sat at the base of the tree.

"I can't believe it! I just _can not believe it_!" Sirius laughed as he plopped himself down on the grass.

Severus sucked in a breath, hoping to Merlin that they left soon, _without _discovering him up in _their _tree.

"James you rascal! How could you?" Sirius lay on his back and Severus was sure he'd seen him until he sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees. "So how'd you manage it?"

Severus watched James's proud expression with pure loathsome.

"Well, I'd set the Bogart there the afternoon before, you know, for the fun of it. I just couldn't believe it got Lily though. Who knew that all it would take was a Bogart and the correct timing for me to bag Lily Evans? I am the smartest wizard alive!" James lay down and tucked his hands behind his back.

Severus could feel himself slipping. It had all been a set up? That's when he knew James had spotted him. His only chance was to hit the ground running. As James squinted so that he could see better Severus set up his feet on the branch, but one of them slipped and he fell backwards from the tree.

_'Oghf'_ it took Severus a few seconds to realise what had happened. He'd fallen from the tree and he'd landed on top of James. He jumped up quickly; expecting James to already have his wand out, ready to attack. But James just lay still on the grass.

"Oh gosh! You've killed them!" Peter jumped up in a frantic. Severus turned around to see his book bag lying beside Sirius's unconscious body.

Remus stood from Sirius's side.

"Wormtail, settle down. They're just unconscious. But I suggest that you, Severus, get out of here before they wake up, I can't promise you that you will not be given any mercy if they wake up and realise what happened." Remus pulled out his wand and turned Sirius on his back. As he did James began to stir. Severus rushed over, grabbed his book bag and then fled towards the castle. Just as he reached the steps he turned around to see Sirius sitting up and James looking around in question. Severus bolted up the remaining steps and didn't stop until he was well tangled in the castle.

* * *

Lily lined her trunk, shoes and book bag up at the end of her bed. She straightened her quilt and checked her drawers. It was only ten-thirty and the fifth years weren't expected at the Hogsmeade until three o'clock but Lily wanted to make sure she had everything. Amanda snored loudly from the bed opposite Lily's. Her stuff was scattered all over the dorm room and as Lily checked under her own bed she found one of Amanda's favourite shoes that had been lost since Christmas. 

"Wake up Amanda!" Lily threw the shoe at Amanda.

"No!" Amanda growled as she snorted awake. "I've got ages."

"It's ten-forty-five. You haven't even started packing!" Amanda didn't answer.

"Don't you have your last detention with Filch in fifteen minutes? That's sure to go until two." Amanda ripped back her covers, cursing several four-letter words.

She stripped of her pyjamas in front of Lily, no hesitation whatsoever.

"Oh my gosh! I'm going to be killed!"

"Settle down Amanda. I'll empty your drawers and get your trunk ready. Then when you come back you can just make sure I got everything."

Amanda pulled up her hair and beamed.

"What would I do without you?" Amanda hugged Lily.

"Miss the train, that's what." Amanda laughed, pulled on her shoes and rushed out the door.

It wasn't until Lily was well underway with packing Amanda's bag that she realised she'd agreed to something that was going to be far more difficult than she'd first anticipated.

The only things that had been in Amanda's drawers had been her mobile phone (which didn't work at Hogwarts of course), a jumper and a sock. Even once the room was cleared Lily was left with three odd socks, two odd shoes, one glove, a pair of pyjamas and only a two shirts. It was a far cry from what Amanda had brought at the beginning of the year.

* * *

"Come on now Miss. Remmings, Miss. Evans, the train will leave without you." Amanda and Lily ran past Professor McGonagall, towards the train. 

"Sorry Professor!" Lily cried out.

Amanda's detention had only gone until one but it had taken two hours to locate the rest of her stuff.

"Next year," Lily panted as they climbed aboard the train. "Next year, I'm putting a locating spell on your possessions. Even if that means I have to un-pack you myself."

"Fine with me." Amanda walked briskly down the train. Being the last ones on meant that all of the compartments we're cramped.

"In here." Amanda pulled back the door of a compartment to Lily's right. In the compartment sat Remus, Peter, James and Sirius.

"What happened to you?" Sirius asked Amanda, looking up at her hair that had fallen out of its band as they had been running for the train.

"We nearly missed the train."

"Amanda, you have to learn to be more organised." Remus looked up at his sister from behind his book.

"I don't need a lecture Remus."

"Well you should be more organised."

"I said I don't need a lecture."

Lily levitated hers and Amanda's trunks on top of the racks. She took a seat next to James and he continued his conversation with Sirius, after giving her a small smile.

Lily sat, unsure weather she should go and find another compartment, whilst Remus and Amanda continued their feuded discussion and James and Sirius spoke animatedly about what they'd like to do to Professor Slughorn. Peter had excused himself quite some time ago.

Lily was about to excuse herself too when James gently, without stopping his conversation, took her hand and held it in the gap between their thigh's, so that no-one really noticed unless they were looking for something to notice.

The train trip wore on and eventually Amanda and Remus finished their argument and all five began on stories of what they hoped to do on the holiday. Once they had moved topics Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom. She was half way down the train when Severus stepped out of a compartment, right in front of her.

"Severus."

"Lily, come here, I need to talk to you." He took her hand and led her into the compartment. His hands felt different to James's. His fingers were longer and more slender and his hands were surprisingly softer. James' were not hard, but some how Severus's were softer.

"Listen Severus. I don't think we should be friends any more."

"Don't say that."

"It's just not worth it… I'm going with James and I don't think we can be friends when you two-"

"-you're doing this because of him?" Severus cut Lily off.

"Merlin, no. But we're not the same people we were when we were ten. We've just grown apart… I'm sorry Severus."

"But Lily… I love you." Lily was glad she'd turned her back before he'd said it.

"I'm sorry." She reached out for the latch of the door when he spoke again.

"He planted that Bogart. You know that right?"

"Pardon?"

"Potter, I over heard him. He planted that Bogart in the hall."

"Sorry?" Lily turned around and was forced to flatten her back against the door when she realised how close Severus had gotten.

"He meant for it all to happen. It was just another prank…"

_Just another prank._

"No." Lily whispered, dropping her head down so that Severus could not see the tear run down her cheek.

Severus, however, lifted her chin with his hand.

"I'd never do anything like that to you." Then he had his hand behind her neck and he was kissing her, and she was kissing him back. His lips were thinner than James's and his tongue tasted different. His hands did not wonder as much but he kissed with more hunger. Lily felt the compartment door slide open and she fell back into the person standing behind it. She opened her eyes to see a terrified look on Severus' face. She turned around just in time to see James Potter's eyes glow red, or at least she was sure they had.


	15. I'm Sorry

_**Chapter 15: **__I'm Sorry_

When Severus opened his eyes to see James Potter standing at the compartment door he was sure he was about to die. The only other escape was a three-inch window, but that was no good.

Lily spun around at the shocked look on Severus's face to see James Potter standing behind her.

"James!"

He hadn't been looking at Lily, he had been looking at Severus and Lily was sure that he would pounce if she did not distract him.

"Potter…" Lily spun around when Severus spoke and gave him a glare. Nothing he could say would make anything _any _better.

Lily looked into James eyes as he looked into hers; she was searching for something…

James looked down at Lily. Her green eyes looked into him and he felt as though his entire soul was a book she could read. He felt so open and exposed when her green eyes stared into his.

Lily wasn't sure what he was going to do or say. Would he yell at her or at Severus? Would he just walk away?

What James did was nothing Lily would have expected.

He let out a bitter cold laugh. It sent chills down Lily's spine that made her legs want to collapse.

"No way." He shook his head, his smile of disbelief still on his face.

"No freakin' way! I did _not_ just see my girlfriend kissing another guy! No… I did not just catch Lily Evans kissing Severus Snape!"

"James, it's not what it looks like!" Lily nearly slapped herself in the head right then and there when the words escaped her lips.

"No Lily, I think it is _exactly _what it looks like!" The smile that had played his lips before had been sadistic, but now there was no smile.

"No, really it isn't!" Lily did not know what to say. What could she say?

_James, he kissed me and I kissed him back._

How could she put it so that it wouldn't break his heart?

"_What _is it then Lily?"

"I- I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well sorry just isn't good enough." James turned his back and stormed away.

"Lily, listen I'm really sorry but you have to see…"

"_Shut up Severus!_" Lily pulled at her hair. "Look, I don't care what you have to say! Kissing you was a spontaneous moment of weakness, but it won't happen again! It ended when you called me a mudblood, ok? There is nothing you can do to take that back. I'm sorry Sev, I really am. But it's just too hard…" Lily left the compartment leaving Severus alone.

* * *

"Hey Prongs, where'd you go?" James sat on the seat next to Sirius. "Jaaaaaames?" Sirius waved a hand in front of James's face when he didn't respond.

"You know what Remus? I hate you." Remus came out from behind his book with a dumbfounded look on his face.

"Ey, that was a bit uncalled for don't you think?" Sirius asked as Remus's expression turned suspicious.

"Why is that James?" Remus asked sceptically.

"Well, you said to me that if I was nice to her and told her how I feel then everything will work out."

"What, isn't everything working out?" Sirius was confused.

"Well if you call me finding her snogging Snape "working out" then yes, we're doing _brilliantly._" Remus tried not to cringe but Sirius made no effort to hide the look of disgust on his face. He opened his mouth, stuck out his tongue and pretended to vomit all over the floor.

It wasn't until a gasp escaped into the room that Remus, Sirius and James realised Amanda was standing at the door.

"No way on Earth. There is no way Lily would do something like that!"

James turned on Amanda.

"Well she did, I saw it, I walked in on it!" Amanda backed away as James got up and made his way closer to her with every poison riddled word.

It wasn't until he felt Sirius's hand close gently around his wrist did he sit back down.

Amanda looked at them all astonished and then turned and ran down the corridor, leaving the compartment door to shut with a small click.

"This is all your fault Moony!"

"James, I said 'you will never know unless you tell her' I did not guarantee that everything would work out. I'm sorry that you caught someone you care for so dearly in a position like that."

"Yeah, and anyway, there are plenty of other girls out there Prongs! Lily Evans is a snob anyway." Sirius laughed, but stopped abruptly when no-one followed.

"Man, I'm going to find Wormtail. I'll see you both later." And Sirius left, in search of someone to tease or laugh with. Anything had to be better than hanging around with a horrible sulky thing that most would call 'heartbroken'.

* * *

"Lily?" Amanda made her way into the bathroom. She knew Lily was here. She could hear her silent sobs. 

"Lily, come on. Come out."

"No!" Amanda sighed and crawled under the stall door where Lily was sitting on the floor.

"I heard that James walked in on you and Snape." Lily threw her arms around Amanda's neck.

"Oh Amanda! I didn't mean for it to happen! Severus was just there and he was telling me that he loves me and then he told me that James planted that Bogart in the hall, just so he could come and find me. He said it was all a prank and that James was probably laughing about it with his friends. Then he kissed me and I didn't really have much of a chance to do _anything_ before James walked in and saw us!" Amanda had to take a few seconds before she took everything in.

She opened her mouth to speak when the train slowed down to a halt.

"Come on Lily, let's get off this train. We'll talk about this later." Lily wiped her eyes on the sleave of her jacket and Amanda helped her to her feet.

By the time they got back to the compartment it was empty and the only trunks remaining were hers and Amanda's.


	16. Finding Pea

_**Chapter 16: **__Finding Pea_

"Lily!" Lily's mother engulfed her in a hug.

"Hello Mum." Lily tried not to sound as though she'd been crying only five minutes before.

"Hello Sweetheart." Lily's dad smothered back her hair and kissed her on the forehead.

"Where's Petunia?" Lily asked, looking around her parents for the only girl to ever seem _completely_ sullen whilst standing on this platform.

"Mira something-a-rather is having her birthday sleepover tonight; Petunia's staying there the night." Lily nodded, a small smile on her face. She'd give the world to have a friendship between her and her sister.

"Lily." Lily turned around to see Amanda standing behind her.

Lily just about began to cry right then and there. Amanda pulled her into a hug.

"It's ok Lily. Everything will be ok."

"How can you say that?" Lily whispered, on the verge of tears.

"It's ok Lily. I know it's been hard with you any your sister; and now this. But don't worry ok? This isn't going to engulf you. Everything will be different in a week, then a month. This will move on, then you'll wonder what you were so upset about."

Lily sniffed a little and wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt. She pulled away from Amanda and smiled.

"Who are you and what have you done to my smart-ass best friend?" Amanda just smiled and patted Lily on the head.

"Be good Lily. I'll call you tonight. Maybe you can come and stay with me and my family for a little while."

"Lily Sweetheart?" Lily turned around to where her Mum's warm smile had been buried in the back of Lily's mind until now.

"Your father and I will wait for you in the car ok Honey?" Lily nodded and handed the handle of her trunk to her dad.

"Ok, I won't be long."

"Amanda? Are you ready to go?" Amanda's mother called from where she stood with Remus and his dad.

"Gimme a sec Mum!" Amanda engulfed Lily in another hug. "Take care of yourself Lily. I'll see you soon, I promise." Lily didn't want to speak at the risk of all her teary words spilling out, so she just nodded.

"Bye Lily." Amanda smiled at Lily and turned her back, heading back towards her parents.

Remus stood with Sirius, Peter and James.

Lily was about to turn and walk away but she couldn't tear her eyes away. She studied James. Not caring if anyone was watching her watch this boy so intently.

She watched the way he conversed with his friends and the way he moved his hands with the conversation. But there was something different about him. Girls and boys alike, made their way past him, patting him on the back or simply waving at him. In the halls or on the grounds of Hogwarts he would have waved back or engaged in conversation or shouted loud comments until one of the teachers' scolded him for it. Not now though. He merely smiled at the students who waved at him.

As he found Lily's gaze and then turned away Lily wondered…

She wondered if this was what a broken heart looked like.

* * *

The second James stepped through the door it was as though he hadn't been away for ten months. 

His mother told him to unpack his trunk and then told him that they would order in for dinner. She said to him that he could choose from the menus in the kitchen drawer. Then she – after hugging him and telling him how good it was to have him back – disappeared into her study.

She'd been writing a book for over a year now. James had absolutely _no _idea what it was about but it kept her occupied a lot of the time.

James's father spent most of his time in the kitchen. He liked to cook and had even made his own 'Cooking with Charles' instruction manual. James tried to avoid the kitchen. His dad liked to invent interesting dished and when James was around at the time it usually meant he had to 'taste test'.

When his parent's weren't writing or inventing new dishes they were working on cases from the ministry. James's parents were quite public people. His Mum spoke at a lot of board meetings and media conferences about decisions the Ministry made, and his father supplied food for a lot of charity balls and dinner parties.

Sometimes James wondered if his parents only had him for the publicity; to prove that they could be parents and work-a-holics at the same time.

There was no doubt what-so-ever in James's mind that his parents loved him. They told him more times in one day than Sirius' mother had to Sirius in his entire life. James's parents spoilt him with everything he ever wanted. They hugged him and kissed him and showed him love every single day. The only problem was that they never really had time for him.

James had barely sat down after his parents had gone to their corners of the house when a black and white fuzz ran towards him, nearly licking him to death.

"Hey boy!" James patted the big dog, trying to avoid its long pink tongue.

He had gotten Moxie for his ninth birthday. He'd had an ear infection so his parents took him out for lunch. They passed a pet shop on the way and James insisted they go inside.

The second he saw the Boarder-Collie puppy he couldn't be parted from it.

"Wouldn't a rat or a frog be better James?" His father tried to convince him.

"You can't take a _dog _to Hogwarts James." His mother whispered silently into his ear.

"But Mum, I want him. He likes me and I like him."

And so they caved in and got him a dog.

James named him Amoxicillin, after the anti-biotic he was taking for his ear infection.

After a few million times of asking his mother and father, "how do you say it again?" and explaining to others the reason his dog was named after an anti-biotic he decided to cut it down to Moxie.

"How are you Mox?" Moxie replied by licking James up the side of the face. James laughed and pushed the dog off of his lap. He grabbed his trunk and took it up to his room.

Moxie jumped up on the bed and by the time James had unpacked he was laying with his big doggy head on his paws.

James slid his trunk under his bed and then lay down and draped his legs over Moxie.

"It's been a long year Moxie," and that's how James found himself telling his anti-biotic named Boarder-Collie about the OWLS and Lily and Snape and the Bogart and the Marauders Map and everything else that was trapped in his head, dying to come out.

* * *

Lily tried to keep James out of her head until her parents were in bed. 

Amanda called at eight o'clock but Lily didn't really feel like talking. She listened to Amanda tell her about the gorgeous boy that had moved in next door - who spent his time checking her out - and Remus telling him that if he touched her he'd cut his fingers off.

"Can you believe it Lily? He spends the whole school year behind his books and the second we get home he feels as though he has to voice his opinions!"

Finally, at eleven-thirty, Lily crept downstairs and flung open the freezer. There was one scoop of Vanilla ice-cream left and about half a tub of double chocolate chip swirl. Lily didn't dare touch the vanilla… it was Petunia's.

Lily grabbed the Chocolate Chip and a spoon and sat herself down at the kitchen table.

She had hardly stuck the first spoonful in her mouth when the lock of the front door slowly began to turn.

Lily found herself wandless with only a spoon to protect herself with.

Before she had a chance to move the door was open and a skinny girl with long brown hair stepped into the house.

"Petunia, I thought you were staying at Mira's?"

It wasn't until her sister turned around that Lily realised she was drunk.

"Petunia, have you been drinking?"

"The precious one's back I see!" Petunia spat.

"What is your problem? Do you have to start this straight away? Can't you at least give it a day?"

Petunia stumbled over to the table and fiercely pulled out a chair, nearly missing it as she sat down.

"You know what Lily? You being a _you-know-what_ is the worst thing that could have possibly happened to us."

Lily put the spoon down; she'd suddenly lost her appetite, even for ice cream.

"Please Tuney, don't start this now."

Petunia put a bony finger in front of her sister's face.

"No, let me finish. I really think it is! We were friends before that Snape boy came along and filled your head with all of that witchy stuff."

"I would have gotten my letter Tuney, I still would have found out anyway. And just incase you care, I'm not friends with Severus anymore."

"Good! All that boy ever did was plant ideas in your head."

"Ok Petunia. Look, I have my own problems ok? I don't want to hear about what your problem with me is." Petunia swayed on her chair. There was no way she was going to remember any of this in the morning.

"Oh yeah, what problems could you possibly have? I thought being a witch made everything so wonderful!"

"Tuney, you don't understand." Lily rubbed her eyes.

"Try me Lily. Go on, try me. I could beat any of your problems."

"Well first of all, do you know how much pressure I have to be perfect? Everyone's always saying things like 'that Lily, she's so smart and _beautiful._' They act as if the world's ending if I ever _don't know _something." Lily stared at her sister.

"Well at least people have expectations of you. I'm the one _least likely to go places_. They all expect me to become one of those wives who get a buzz out of spying on her neighbours and spoiling her only child… that or the woman with too many cats. People don't expect me to ever be anything. Look what I have to live up to!" Petunia thrust her hand at Lily. "The ones who know you're a witch are all: 'Lily is so blessed. She's so talented!' just because you cane wave a stick around and make things happen that science can't explain. The ones who don't know think you're at a school for over-achievers." Petunia made a disgusted face. "But the worst of them are the ones who have _met_ you. They're all: 'Lily is such a pleasant girl. She's so smart and talented and mature. She can be anything she wants.' And they leave feeling as though they've been truly blessed! Do you know how hard it is to live up to that Lily?"

Lily opened her mouth to speak. She didn't know what she'd say but she had to stop Tuney. Every word was cutting her a little more.

"No, I guess you don't, do you? Because no-one's better than you are they Lily?"

"That's enough Petunia. You think you have it bad? Put yourself in my shoes. Everyone thinks I'm perfect. I'm not."

"I know that Lily! I know you're not perfect!"

"You don't know what it's like Petunia! You don't know how bad I feel that I'm a witch and you're not! Do you know how bad it makes me feel? Everyone tells me I have a gift! Sometimes it's more like a curse! Everyone thinks it's so wonderful! Do you know horrible I feel? If I could make you a witch too I would!"

"_I _DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE?! What do you mean _I don't know what it's like?!_ YOU don't know! I spent so long asking why I wasn't chosen too! I spent so long asking why I got a sister who got all of the luck. You don't know what it's like to feel like you'll never be as good as your sister!" Petunia put her head on her crossed arms and became silent.

"I'm sorry Tuney. If there were something I could do, I'd do it. But I can't. I just wish you'd stop hating me for something I had no control over."

Petunia did not move.

Lily got up and put her ice cream back in the freezer.

She moved over to Petunia.

"Come on Tuney." Lily could tell by Petunia's deep, steady breathing that she had fallen asleep.

Lily helped her half conscious sister up to her room. She pulled a nightie out of the drawer and helped Petunia into it.

"Lily, why are you helping me?" She asked as Lily tucked her into bed.

"Because you are my sister Petunia, and you are drunk, and if Mum and Dad find out you will be in big trouble. Why didn't you stay the night?"

Petunia spoke with her eyes shut. "Mira told me to tell Mum and Dad that it was a simple sleep over. It was a keg party. There was music and drinking and boys."

"Boys?"

"Don't stress. It wasn't as fun as I would have hoped. Everyone just trashed the place and when I looked for a place to crash out I couldn't find anywhere. I eventually found Mira… sweating and panting under some guy. So I walked home, and you were here." Petunia rolled over.

"Why can't we just be friends Pea?" Lily asked, her eyes tearing up.

"Pea? You haven't called me Pea since we were little." Lily let out a half laugh, half sob. "Why can't we be friends Pea?"

Lily rounded the bed to face her sister but she was fast asleep. Lily kissed her on the head and folded her clothes at the end of her bed. She pushed the pyjama drawer shut and as she did she caught glimpse of a piece of paper on the floor. Lily recognised it straight away. It was a copy of the letter she had sent to Dumbledore four years ago. Lily opened it up, noticing her sister's young scrawl instantly.

_Dumbledore,_

_My name is Petunia Freeda Evans and I am twelve years old. My sister Lily Patricia Evans is eleven and she has received a letter from you saying that she has been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witch Craft and Wizardry. She has this friend Severus Snape and he says that she is a witch. I asked my mum and dad and neither of them are in any way magical. I just wanted to know how I could become a witch. Lily is one and I really want to be one too. Please, I'll do anything to be able to come to your school. I'll try really hard and do all of my work, I promise! Severus says that you get your letter at eleven. I'll do extra work to catch up if you let me come to Hogwarts. Please, please, PLEASE let me become a witch. I promise I'll do anything! I just really want to be a witch. Please, please let me be a witch._

_Petunia Freeda Evans _

Lily had tears in her eyes as she reached her sister's name at the bottom of the paper. There was another piece of parchment in the envelope. Lily pulled it out and read.

_Petunia Freeda Evans,_

_My name is __Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore and I am__ 126 years old._

_Firstly, Petunia Evans I would like to thank you for your letter. It's not often I receive such brilliantly written letters from twelve-year-olds. You sound like a very intelligent girl Petunia._

_I have accepted your sister into Hogwarts but I only wish I could accept you too. You see Petunia, no body chooses who gets to be a witch or wizard, the process is a random one, especially when it concerns a witch or wizard being born into an entirely non-magic family, just like your sister._

_I have no doubts that you are an intelligent woman. You don't need to be a witch to belong to a magical world. You can be what ever you like and just because you are not magical does not mean yo have to shun out the magic world._

_You are just as special as your sister is Petunia._

_Take care,_

_Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

Lily put the letters back in the envelope and tucked it back in her sisters pyjama drawer. Then she went into her room and fell into an uneasy sleep filled with memories of the hurt on Petunia's face when Lily left to Hogwarts. A world Petunia craved so much, but could never really be a part of.

**Hope you liked the extra long chapter.**

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**If I don't get enough by Friday you'll have to wait till Monday (I have no internet at home) **

**Love ya all!**


	17. Losing Lucas

_**Chapter 17: **__Losing Lucas_

Moxie sat on the window-seat, whining out at the rain.

"Mox, you can't go out. You'll get muddy and dig up the garden. Dad will kill me if you dig up his vegetable patch." Moxie continued to whine.

James lay on his bed, his hands behind his head, until Moxie started barking.

"Moxie, stop it! There's nothing out there!" James had just turned back to looking at the ceiling when his window slid open.

"Sirius?" Sirius climbed off of his broomstick and pulled his trunk into James's room.

"I can't handle that woman anymore James! The hag's driving me crazy!" Moxie bounded towards Sirius and started licking him.

"Moxie, settle down!" Sirius scolded. Moxie seemed to have formed a very strong attraction to Sirius ever since he became an Animagus.

"Prongs, why couldn't you have just gotten a cat?" Sirius pushed Moxie off.

"What's up with your Mother this time Sirius?" James asked, getting up and throwing a towel at Sirius. His mother would kill him if he got the carpet soggy.

"She came into my room this morning after some stupid argument we had. She obviously wasn't finished what she had to say. Anyway, she came in and then once she got the hint I wasn't listening she got mad and on her way out tried to rip a Gryffindor poster off of my wall. Two years it's taken her to realise that I've used a permanent sticking charm to stick them to my walls. She went _mental_. Screaming about me being a disgrace. I just can't handle her anymore."

James shook his head. He really hated Sirius' mother.

"Why don't you just come and live with me Padfoot?"

"What do you think the trunk's for?"

James sat up straight. "Really?"

Sirius towel dried his long black hair.

"Well why else would I carry it here? Cause I like how heavy it is?"

Sirius had come to James many times in the years of their friendship, telling him that he'd had enough. But he always ended up going back.

"So where are your parents?" James lay back down and Moxie curled up on the bed at his feet.

"Work; where they always are. It's already three days into the holidays and I'm board already!"

"Let's go and see Moony. It's a full moon tomorrow night anyway. We have to work out what we're going to do about that. I heard that the Littlies have taken over Parkstin Club House over the school year."

James grinned. Any opportunity to wreak some havoc sounded good enough for him, even if it was on a bunch of Muggle twelve-year-old boys.

* * *

"Every body say hello to Lily!" Petunia cackled as her friends waved stupidly as they passed the door to Lily's room.

Lily shouted a few very unpleasant words as Petunia, Matilda, Bonnie, Rhiannon and Candice all disappeared into Petunia's room. Her door slammed shut forcefully and she wished that Petunia's and her stupid friend's fingers had of been curled around the doorframe as it did.

"Oh if only." Lily muttered under her breath.

It had only been three days and Petunia showed _no_ sign _what so ever _of remembering the night she'd come home drunk.

It was very often that Lily wished she could march down to the primary school or the local doctor's office and tell her mum and dad about that night.

The closest she'd gotten was the park down the road. But the duck pond was too welcoming to pass up. Of course she didn't _swim_ in it, but skipping rocks (a skill she'd learnt from her father) was just as relaxing.

"Lily?" A knock came from her door and Lily looked up to see a lean, blonde headed boy open her door.

"Lucas?" He smiled and held out his arms.

"Oh my gosh! Lucas!" Lily jumped off of her bed and bounded into her friends arms. Her and Lucas had been friends since their first day of kindergarten, back when they were four.

"Wow Little Lily, you've grown up!" It was a ridiculous thing to say, seeing as Lucas was a good foot taller than her, but it was a nice gesture anyway.

"Sorry I didn't come earlier, I just got back from Saint Bartons' yesterday."

"Yeah, I only got just got back from Hog- OLSH College three days ago."

Lucas smiled, not seeming to notice Lily's slip up.

"So how are you?" As Lily was about to answer, a loud giggle came from the room across the hall, Petunia's room.

"Let's go downstairs Lucas, Petunia's got friends over."

Before long Lily and Lucas were settled on the couch with cool drinks.

"So what classes are you taking at Our Lady of the Sacred Heart, Lily?" Lily laughed at the formal tone in the way Lucas said the name of her 'supposed' school.

"Oh, you know. Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfigurations, Care of Mystical creatures, Muggle Studies… the usual." However, Lily decided on something a little less… confronting.

"Biology, Music, Maths Methods, Religious Education, English Studies, History and Business Studies." Lucas nodded and began telling Lily his subject selections but Lily wasn't really listening She was so glad to see a familiar face the Muggle world seemed rather lonely at times.

Lily was dazing at the fireplace, only half listening to Lucas, when a memory crossed her mind.

It was back in their first year of school, back when they were Littlies.

Lily had been so scared of all of the big kids. Naturally, Petunia would have helped her, but Petunia had the flue and had to stay home.

"Lily, look, its ok. We'll go in together." Lucas took her hand and walked her into the classroom. She looked around and everyone was staring.

"Let's go Lucas. We can run away." Lily whispered.

Lucas just shook his head.

"My Mum said you had to face your fears." So they sat down and by recess Lily had girls coming and asking them if she wanted to play with them. She was glad Lucas had made her go in, and it was even better because he was there.

"Lily, are you listening to me?"

"Pardon?" Lucas's deeper voice cut through his childish one that had been playing in her head.

"Shesh Lily, are you sure you're ok?"

Lily smiled, "yeah. I was just thinking."

"About." Lily turned her back to the fire place and begun to tell Lucas about their first day of school. About half way through Lily noticed Lucas' expression change abruptly.

She turned around to look at the fireplace, where Lucas had been staring so shocked, to see a lip-gloss sitting on top of the ashes.

"Did that lip-gloss just fall down your chimney Lily?"

"Oh God." Lily looked around. Surely Amanda would fall out of the fireplace any second now.

Lily had only seconds to think of what to do.

She had to do it fast. She pulled Lucas down wrapped her arms and legs around him. She didn't even kiss him, but he was stunned enough not to struggle, his eyes burned suspicion into hers. Lily heard the clunk and then Amanda's voice.

"What the?" Lily sat up straight.

"Where'd you come from?" Lucas asked,

"Amanda! We're you climbing our chimney again?" Lily laughed nervously, realising how stupid she'd sounded.

"You see Lucas, this is Amanda. She has a bit of an obsession. She likes to climb our chimney."

Amanda got up out of the ashes and Lily was glad that Lucas was looking at her with an expression that so clearly said: 'What kind of weirdo climbs some-ones chimney?' At least he seemed to believe her. It wasn't until Lily heard another crash and saw Sirius at the bottom of the fireplace did it hit her that she was in real trouble.

Sirius, obviously realising that he'd dropped in at the wrong time, didn't move. A second later him and James were a tangle of limbs.

"Ouch! Sirius why the bloody hell didn't you move?" The boys struggled out of the chimney and got up, but James only got half way up before he spotted Lucas.

"Get behind me Lily!" Lucas jumped in front of Lily, shielding her from James.

"What were you doing up the Evans' chimney?" He demanded.

"Up the chimney? We weren't up the chimney!" Lucas looked suspicious but when James took a step forward Lucas took a step back, pushing Lily from behind him.

It was only then that James realised that this Lucas guy was holding Lily's hand.

"Oi, you better let go of Lily." His face suddenly got hot and his anger rose inside him. Who did this guy think he was?

"No way am I letting her go around you!" James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Lucas.

"I said let her go!" Lucas looked down at the wand and laughed in James' face.

"What are you going to do? Poke me with your stick?" This time it was James' turn to laugh.

"Oh, you're one of those!" Sirius laughed from behind him.

James twirled his wand in his fingers.

"James, put it away! Don't hurt him!" Lily suddenly heard her voice again.

"What?" Lucas turned around to face Lily. "How is he going to hurt me with that stick?"

"Would you like me to show you?" Lucas turned around and James had his wand pointed at him again.

"Go on then." Lucas took a step forward so that the wand was nearly touching his chest.

"What shall we do to him Sirius?"

"Leave him alone!" James must have momentarily forgotten about Lily because the sound of her voice had his spare hand jumping to his hair.

"Why should we Evans? Havn't you told him your little secret yet?"

Lucas looked around at Lily.

"James, just be quiet ok?"

"Luke, how long have you known Miss Evans here?" James asked.

"Since we were four!" Lucas spat.

James turned back to Lily. "Tsk, tsk. _Four _Lily? That long and you haven't told him?"

"Told me what?"

"Be quiet James."

"Where do you think Lily goes for the school year Lucas?" James asked, ignoring Lily's pleas.

"Her religious school on the other side of London. Where else?"

James shook his head slowly, smirking at Sirius.

"Have you ever heard of witches and wizards Lucas?" Lucas looked confused for a moment, looking down at the wand and then James and Sirius.

"Witches? Wizards? You're a joke!"

"No, its true. Shall I prove it?"

"James, STOP!" Lily screamed, but he didn't listen.

"Hmmm? What hex should I use?"

Lucas did not look scared at all but Lily looked horrified.

"James GET OUT NOW!" James smirked at her and as he was about to cast his hex when the vase of flowers that sat on the mantle piece exploded.

Everyone looked around in shock. Then the surprised expression dropped from James' face.

James began to clap slowly, "very good Lily, very impressive.'

Lucas looked over at Lily.

"Di-did you do that?"

Lily looked around frantically.

"Lucas, it's not what you think. It's actually quite common. Please…" Lily made a grab for Lucas' hand but he moved away.

"No… Get away from me. You're… You're a freak!" Lucas backed out into the kitchen and then turned around and ran.

Amanda stood still and James just grinned at the door that Lucas had just run out of.

"Freak? He think's _we're _the freaks?" Sirius laughed.

"Shut up Sirius! Why did you two even come?"

"Well Remus is all tired; we weren't going to stay there. And I needed something to do. It's raining outside incase you haven't noticed!"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP ALL OF YOU?! WHY DID YOU EVEN COME?!" Lily bolted up the stairs. Petunia swung open her door and shouted out, "will you just shut up down there?"

Lily swung around to face her.

"Shut your big mouth Petunia!" Then she slammed the door shut.

**Well that was an extra long chapter!**

**Reviews (equals) UPDATE!**


	18. Mud Mask

_**Chapter 18: **__Mud Mask_

"Oh Merlin, you IDIOTS!" Amanda spun around to face James and Sirius.

"What? If she couldn't tell him the truth obviously he's not that great a friend…" James laughed and turned his head, not so sure on what his expression was supposed to be.

"Well maybe she didn't want her whole life to revolve around magic!" Amanda paced the lounge room, not sure what to do.

"Ok, you've lost me." James messed up his hair.

"James, think about it for a second will you? Lily lives in a world in which people snort at the mention of witches. They believe that everything can be explained by _Science, _and the things that can't are a work of some mysterious life form that no-one's ever seen. Wouldn't you get a bit annoyed too if people looked at you weirdly because you played Quidditch and they all played Aingingein."

"What's that?" Sirius piped up.

"Aingingein, it's a sport played on broomsticks but they only have one ball and there is a series of flaming hoops, but that's not the point. Quidditch and Aingingein are similar, but they're still different. James, if you flew out onto the field during a world cup and began playing Quidditch among all of these other Aingingein players, they'd think you were weird."

"Yeah, well obviously," James snorted.

"Exactly! If Lily ran around saying she was a witch, everyone would think she was crazy!" James still didn't seem to grasp this concept.

"Your metaphors are seriously messed up, you know that? I mean, who plays Aingingein anyway."

Amanda looked around the room in frustration, her pleading look caught Sirius's glance for a second before she buried her face in her hands.

"Prongs, do you remember Christmas two years ago when I was crazy enough to believe that going home wouldn't be so bad because Uncle Alphard would be there, you know, my only _nice relative._"

"Yes, is this another messed up metaphor, Padfoot?"

"No, look, do you remember when I got there and all of my relatives who hadn't seen me since before Hogwarts kept asking me what house I was in and how much the Slytherin common room has changed? I had to tell them all that I was a Gryffindor. I was proud to be part of the house, but they all looked at me as though I was disgusting and avoided me like the plague. By the end of dinner I didn't want to tell anyone I was a Gryffindor anymore, I hated that they all looked at me the way my mother had since I was accepted into the house."

"So Lily doesn't want to tell them because it's different?"

"Yes James, It's foreign to them, just like having a Gryffindor in the family was to all of Sirius's relatives." Amanda looked at James, waiting for any recognition of understanding.

"I get it, but it's just really messed up."

"It's a part of society. You don't like fraternising with the Slytherins because-"

"No, I don't _fraternaze_ with the Slytherins because they're all slimy evil little buggers."

"- its _fraternise_, and no, that's not true, not all of them are mean. A lot of them were only put in that house because they are just strong headed and dedicated in what they do. It very rarely has anything to do with good and evil."

James opened and shut his mouth for a few seconds.

"Alright, I'm sorry ok, but she moved on _way_ too fast!"

Sirius looked at Amanda with a stunned expression, he was now completely lost.

"What gives you any evidence that they were doing anything but talking James?"

Again with the fishy face.

"Look," he finally blurted out, "she deserves it!" Then he stormed from the others and left through the door.

"What is his _problem?_ He's been more temperamental than my mother these holidays!"

"He's hurt Sirius; he's hurt about what he saw on the train."

"What, Snivellus and Lily? That's the biggest scam I've ever heard! Snivellus is a slime ball! Who would pick him over James?"

"I don't think Lily picked _anyone._ But James won't give her a chance to explain."

Sirius sighed. He knew what a guilt trip was.

"Alright, I'll go and talk to him." Sirius left muttering something about preferring to be scrubbing the warts from his mother's feet.

* * *

"Lily?"

"Go away!" Lily lay on her bed with her face in her pillow.

"Lily, come on, it isn't that bad…" Lily sat bolt upright, her face stained with tears.

"Not that bad? How would you know?! I've known Lucas since I was five…FIVE AMANDA!" Lily hated to be dramatic. But it just annoyed her that James could prance around, doing what he liked, and everyone just dismissed it.

"Look Lily, I'm sure he'll forgive you…"

Lily whipped her eyes on her sleeve. "I don't know Amanda. He seemed pretty mad."

"James is just hurting Lily."

"Hurting? How is he hurting?"

"Well, he did see you kiss Severus Snape on the train…"

Lily jumped up, "He kissed me!"

"Hey, don't get mad at me! I'm just telling you what James thinks he saw."

Lily sighed and sat back down. "I don't know what to do."

"How about you explain to him what happened, and maybe you can apologise."

"But I didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yeah, but there's no need to cut your nose to spite your face." Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Sometimes I _really _don't get you."

Amanda laughed, "Just come and stay at mine for a little while. James will most likely go home anyway; we can have a girly night, just me and you." Lily got off of her bed and grabbed her wand.

"Ok Amanda."

* * *

Are you sure you're supposed to put this glop on your face?" Amanda mixed the face mask that Lily had pored into a bowl.

"Yes, I'm sure. Trust me Amanda, it may seem weird at first but drinking pumpkin juice and eating jelly beans that came in earwax flavour seemed weird to me the first time I tried them too." Lily scrounged around the DVD cupboard in the lounge room whilst Amanda followed the packet instructions and made the face masks in the kitchen.

"What flavour beans did you used to eat then?" Amanda yelled to Lily.

"The normal flavours. Strawberry, grape, apple, cherry and the disgusting black ones that no-one liked."

Amanda's parents had gone out earlier on to a charity function for Remus' father's work. Amanda told Remus about their little argument at Lily's and (after some letter swapping with James and Sirius) he decided to have a boy's night at James'; which meant that Lily and Amanda had the night to do what they wanted.

"I've never heard of those flavours in a jelly bean before- except for the black one." Amanda lifted the glop on the spoon and let it drop into the bowl.

"But isn't your Mum a Muggle?" Lily made her way back into the kitchen with the DVDs. "Why else would you have a TV and Stereo?"

"No Lily, you've got it wrong. My Mum's a Squib. I still grew up in the magic world, but when my father died my mother took it very harshly, so she moved us into Muggle Australia. But we still ate wizards food, we just had to make our house seem more… Muggle-ey. When we moved in with Remus and his Dad Mum insisted that some electrical appliances were a good idea, so we kept them." Again, Amanda sloshed the face masks.

"Ok Amanda, let's put on this one." Lily held up the movie '10 Things I Hate About You' and grabbed the bowl of face mask mud.

After some squirming from Amanda as Lily put her face mask on, there were set. The movie had just begun when four masked figures jumped over the back of the sofa.

"Ahh!" Amanda and Lily jumped up, wands at the ready but Amanda wasn't the only one to scream. As soon as the masked figures turned to face the girls the shortest one screamed, backed into the TV cabinet, and ended up with a vase of mucky flower water on its head.

The terrifying sight of the girl's lumpy green faces shocked the other three figures just long enough for Lily to bind them. Amanda bound the figure that had fallen over and she ripped its mask off.

"Peter?" Surely enough Peter Pettigrew's fat face was revealed from behind the mask.

Lily levitated the other three onto the lounge.

"Now, let's see shall we?" She made her way over to who she figured was no doubted James, Remus and Sirius. Amanda giggled as she pulled of the boy's masks.

"What should we do with them Amanda?" Remus growled in a low voice to James.

"I can't believe you convinced me to do this!"

Amanda strutted over to the boys.

"Oh, I know!" She ran into the kitchen and came back a minute later carrying the left over face mask mud.

"Perfect."

**Ha ha! The boys are in for it now!**

**I aint updating till I get reviews!!**

**Hope you all had a VERY Merry Christmas!**


	19. Saying Sorry

Chapter 19: Saying Sorry

"Come on you three, let's get you all cleaned up… I think the pool would do very nicely. Can you take care of James, Lily?" Lily nodded, smirking a smirk worthy of James himself.

"Yeah, he shouldn't be a problem." Amanda pushed the other three towards the back door, not having to levitate them. They knew they were beat.

"Lily, look, you don't have to do anything to me. I promise I won't pull a stunt like that again." Lily turned so that she was facing James, and instead of the twisted, contorted expression he expected, she was smiling.

"You have to say you're sorry first."

"Sorry?" James looked appalled, "for what?"

"For jumping to conclusions."

James turned his head away from Lily, knowing his face showed pain.

"Why should I?"

"Because you were wrong, and you didn't give me a chance to explain!"

"I saw you kiss that slime ball Lily, I saw it." James wriggled but the ropes seemed to tighten around him. "Will you let me go?!" He yelled, frustrated.

"So you can run away? No, not until you listen."

"I don't care what you have to say, it's probably all a lie." Lily pushed her hands trough her hair in a rage.

"Well what about you? Scaring Lucas off like that! You had no right!"

"YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO MAKE ME HURT LIKE YOU DID!" James panted and hung his head limp.

"James, I didn't kiss Severus, he kissed me. We've been friends for a long time, and yes, it hurt to have him call me a Mudblood. But you can't just _forget_ about five years of friendship."

James still didn't turn to look at Lily.

"If I asked you to stop being friends with Sirius, or Remus, or Peter, you wouldn't. You can't abandon your friends."

"Well, maybe Peter…" James smirked.

"I really like you James, and I don't want one stupid little thing to come between us… Please say you'll forgive me…"

James looked up and Lily wasn't sure if he was going to say anything for a long while.

"Alright Lily, but on one condition…"

Lily sucked in a breath, preparing to hear that she and Severus could never be friends again. "Yes?"

"You promise that you'll never upstage me at Quidditch again."

Lily was about to laugh but when she looked at James she realised that he was dead serious.

"Ok." She sighed, trying so stop the laughter from escaping her lips.

"Are you _laughing at me _Lily Evans?"

Lily shook her head but kept her lips sealed tightly.

"Come here." Lily took a few steps towards James, where he was tied to the chair.

"Yes?"

"Don't I get a make-up kiss?" He asked.

Lily smiled and straddled James' lap, pleased to see him go pink in the cheeks.

He leaned forward and his lips touched hers, softly.

Lily wrapped her arms around James' neck, pulling him as close as he could come whilst he was still tied to the chair.

They were so infatuated with the kiss that it wasn't until Peter screamed that they realised that Amanda stood at the door; Remus, Sirius and Peter standing saturated, face mask mud dripping off of their faces, next to her.

"Lucky we came inside when we did, any longer and it may not have been so innocent." Remus declared and Sirius pulled a face.

Lily quickly got up, realising that her sitting on James' lap whilst he was tied to a chair must look quite… kinky.

Lily flicked her wand and James' limbs were released from the ropes.

She smiled sheepishly as everyone but James burst into laughter, and even he joined eventually.

* * *

Remus climbed up the ladder of the tree house, the sun setting slowly over the horizon. 

"Oi! Moony, would you like to move any slower?" Sirius insisted from behind Remus.

"I'll make you a deal." Struggled Remus. "I'll use all of my energy climbing into a tree and you transform into a werewolf."

Sirius snorted, "Alright, I get it!"

James climbed slowly behind Sirius, his mind elsewhere.

Once they had finally reached the top all three boys watched the sun set and then the moon rise.

Once they had all performed Sirius curled up and fell asleep.

"You both know that I appreciate everything you do for me right?"

James laughed lightly, "yeah, course."

Remus nodded.

"So, how's Lily?" James couldn't hold back a smile.

"Yeah, I think things are finally going good."

Remus nodded, "That's good… where does she think you are now?"

"Oh, still having our boys night."

Remus shook his head, smiling as well as a werewolf can. "Great boy's night."

James laughed. Then he curled up and fell asleep.

The sun rose slowly and Remus slowly came to consciousness to the sound of giggling.

He opened his eyes and looked out over the park to see a bunch of young girls pointing and giggling.

"Padfoot, Prongs, wake up!"

James opened his eyes slowly but Sirius just groaned.

"What?" James insisted.

Remus nudged James harder and he sat up.

"What is it?"

Remus pointed at the girls who were blushing in hysterics.

James looked down at his naked body and gasped. He scurried to his feet and grabbed his jeans out of his backpack. He threw Remus his pants and both boys pulled them on.

"Padfoot! Put some pants on!" Remus insisted as James threw Sirius his pants.

Sirius awoke suddenly and pulled the pants on.

"Oh man." He groaned as he spotted the girls.

As the boys began to scurry down the ladder the girls scurried away, throwing back cheeky grins as the boys dragged their feet all the way home.

**Lol, sorry the update took forever!**

**Please review!**


	20. UPDATE!

OMFG GUYS

OMFG GUYS! I'm a GENIOUS! I'd backed it all up! I finally got around to re-doing the planning and I FOUND A FILE WITH ALL THE PLANNING IN IT! OMFG GUYS! THAT'S LIKE 50 HOURS OF DRAWING UP CHARACTER TABLES AND FIGURING OUT YEARS AND AGES AND EVENTS AND CHARACTERS PARENTS AND DESCRIPTION AND… OMFG! It's BRILIANT! I'm on holidays so I'll get you an update. SORRY SO MUCH ABOUT THE DRAMA AND NO UPDATE! To tell ou the truth I was going to give up until I found this file! I FUCKING CRIED!!

**THANK THE GLORIOUS POWERS THAT BE! **

**I LOVE YOU ALL!!**

**Sarah xx**


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